Which monster is a practical joker?
Prankenstein!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Freighter.
Freighter who?
Freighter ghosts, are you?

What do witches say when they cast the wrong spell?
"Hexcuse me!"

What's the difference between a huge, smelly monster and a puppy?
People like puppies.

What's big and green and overeats?
The Incredible Bulk!

I heard somewhere that there's this parody religion called the 'Church of the Flying Spagetti Monster'... it's up on wikipedia. They have that picture that michelangelo painted, the one with God touching Adam like in ET, only they made God a spagetti monster! The guy who made it said that God's gotta have a sense of humor if the really created things the way they are- It's so funny!

(in response to your monster / rash construction)

How do you give a monster a rash? A poison I.V

Did you hear what the dyslexic jamaican bartender said to his slow drink mixin co-worker? "Mon Stir" (I know that was a stretch) lol

Why did the monster knit herself three socks?
Because she grew another foot.

What game do monster children play?
Hide and shriek! :-)

A ghoul stood on a bridge one night,
Its lips were all a-quiver;
It gave a cough,
Its leg fell off,
And floated down the river.

A ghoul stood on a bridge one night,
Its lips were all a-quiver;
It gave a cough,
Its leg fell off,
And floated down the river.

"Don't eat with your fingers, dear," said the humongous monster to her son. "Use your shovel."

Who is the clumsiest monster of all?
Clodzilla.

Monsters eat?