gwilly
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- I have talked about coming up with a plan to do things that will fix me and my relationship, and doing it every day. I have been bad at doing my own plan every day, and it has cuased me problems. I have been lying to my wife for many years and...
- It's really ridiculous to be this old and still be trying to get it right. But it really is hard to change, to really change for good. But with all the people I've hurt and problems I've caused, I really want to keep at it to the end. My persistence...
- I've learned it's easy to get lax on the things you (I) are doing to stay on top of lying, and that if I do, it brings more fear and other issues into our relationship. I've looking at all the technology etc. around to help me remember my promises...
- Things are generally working out fairly well. Following my plan and doing the things that have helped me to not lie and to rebuild my relationship what's my wife has made life so much better. I do realize this is a long process to fix all the messes...
- not quit doing it (the plan), not be sloppy, not forget, and communicate better. We have come up with a plan. It has multiple parts to help with several aspects of my lying issues, and has been working well. But I, being a not very organized...
- I'm learning that besides stopping the actual bold face type of lying, there are other things that come with it. One of which is that when you say you will do something, and you forget to do it or don't make the time to do it, that is very much like...
- I am truly a lucky one. My wife has put up with stuff from me over 30 years. She has stayed with me and tried to help me figure this out, tried to help me understand myself, dealt with all the pain and fear and everything else it is brought into her...
- Through all this fixing things, the most important thing I'm learning is that working together with my wife on whatever thing it is I'm working on, whichever piece of the puzzle I'm trying to fix at the moment it always works better when I work with...
- I'm learning that you really really need to put this thing at the front of the line, and not at the rear Berner ever. Don't let other complications or distractions keep you from doing the things that you have decided to do to fix yourself and fix...
- The more I work on rebuilding my relationship, the more things I find that I can do to slow the process, trip over things, and cause problems. It's not a smooth road, and it is easy to bring up old, bad feelings. It does take a lot of time and...
- So far so good. It's a lot of work changing your habits, character, rebuiding relationships that you have ruined. But it really is well worth it. It's finally like a new start, with the things we are doing to fix things, and I am determined to...
- I so appreciate reading your stories and struggles and advice. It keeps me grounded on the idea that I screwed up, but also lets me know that I'm not the only one. I also gain hope that it is going to be fixed some day. It's been a long time...
- Since clearing things up with my wife, I have been staying on top of the finances with her. We look at the bank accounts every day, and plan where it goes and what to pay. This has helped so much, knowing we are working together on things, and...
- Well, hanging in here. No lies for about 3 weeks. My problems have been about money, so we have a number of things that I do every day, one of which is that we look at the bank accounts every day. That helps her know exactly where everything is at,...
- Some of our kids came home for the weekend, and we had a good time with them. I had a hard time not wondering each time I was with them, what kind of damage I have done to their lives with the crap and lies I told over the years. I know I made...