Liars Anonymous Community Group

A support group to provide those with a compulsive addiction to lie a place to share hope, strength and courage with others like them; solve our common problem and help others with a compulsion to lie. We aren't alone!

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gwilly 01/30/2017

I'm learning that besides stopping the actual bold face type of lying, there are other things that come with it. One of which is that when you say you will do something, and you forget to do it or don't make the time to do it, that is very much like a lie, or actually, is a lie. I had to think about this to wrap my head around it, and it appears to be a matter of keeping your word. You say you will do it, and you don't, you did not keep your word. If you do not keep your word, you have lied. I am working on this aspect of telling the truth, along with all others. I still have a lot to learn.

TheCalligrapher 01/30/2017

I get study in this a lot. I actually believe that an honest mistake is a mistake and not a lie. I have many times forgotten an email response or a deliverable in daily tasks at work that then resulted in having to apologize and catch back up but given the original intent I was not lying. in today's proficiency rankings that is called conscientuousness. it is a skill that can be developed but simply being over committed or scatter brained is not lying. choosing not to do something without informing someone who depends on you and failing to inform them of your choice would be. forgetting to send a kid with a permission slip would be a natural accident of a parent.

mikeyrg 01/30/2017

I would use to lie about why a task was not completed out of guilt. Had to be perfect ha ha. Now I admit to my neglect honestly. My bigger issue is with being vulnerable with my thoughts. My partner will ask me what I am thinking about and I may not want to open up with a controversial issue. I am learning that stuffing it is a lie. Even if the thought is going to cause disharmony it is better to get it out. At least 50% of the time it ultimately is me feeling self pity over not getting my way. But I am learning the other 50% is legitimate and if kept bottled up festers. Both ways the topic is aired, controversy dealt with and I am still alive!!! If she gets upset it is only for a short time and I have been honest and open.

gwilly 01/31/2017

Thanks for your comments. I appreciate your thoughts. I agree that just forgetting small things is different. Its the saying you'll do something and then not that is the issue with me. Like I said, I've lots to learn.

kevinc00 03/12/2017

We all have lots to learn, and hopefully can from each other. I'm very glad i found this board and plan to use it! i, too, have problems reconciling that a broken promise, no matter what the intention is behind it, is still a lie. and it doesn't "count" to say that "i never said how long it would take me to...", that's still a lie. i am the KING of rationalizations, and realize that i'm only doing that so I feel better. it doesn't do anything positive for my relationships. i'm only lying to myself in the process.
i also have issues with letting my feelings out, so i'm hopeful that thru this group, an extra benefit of stopping lying will be my being more honest (and vocal!) about my feelings.

thanks to you all!

NoMoreLies 03/14/2017

I also have a similar problem. Always have an excuse for why not doing something. When it's so simple to just admit the truth. I'm learning as I go. Hang in there

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