orbiefangraham

About Me

CANT READ ALL MY PROFILE? READ SOME TAKE WRITTEN NOTES & READ MORE LATER. --- I want to add that IM NOT HERE TO DATE ANY ONE BUT ONLY TO MAKE TRUE FRIENDS & HELP OTHERS.. . my profile info may be long but it has ans become a inspirasion to many even a suprt as it is meant to be. Its not meant as any thing negative toany one..Un like me its doing its job 24hours non stop even when im off line. Please be re asured that is al its intended for. To help others.I am a carer for my epileptic friend who lives with me. I do it with out any help or suport. i have been doing so for the last 5 years. it is hard at times but his father passed away over 6 years ago & was a close friend to me. A true one. My friend & I are both victums of past sexual abuse. Rejection. Theats harassment.depresion. loss.not being understood. lack of true friends. Proper help & suport. bulying & so on. Due to problems at at birth I suffered from brain hemraging resulting in nose bleeds daily until, age 13. Dovtors said I would not live past age 3. Then when I did they said Id never walk or talk. At age s I started to. My fatr was killed by a train wen i was 3. He worked for the railway. My mum put me into care as she had to sleep out rough for 2 years. Then compensasion came as di the family like flies. Money soon gone & so were they. There was time when we had to steel food to live because my mums momey did not come through from the state as they call it. I have also suffered from bronical asma usual colds & flues. chicken pox heat rashes posibly measals ear infectons ect. lose of boice for a month My mum tried to foster me off to folk who could offer me a better life than she felt she could. But Im glad it did not work out as we needed each other as time passed. More so near the last 7 years of her life. I use my own hell to understand 7 help others. I can still do one thing for my mum as well as for me. Live the rest of my life as best as I can. She would want me to go on doing the good things i did when she was alive but also what I have & will do since. I do things that makes me feel near to er. Say frases she used to say & so on. I some times tink Im un derserving of a mum like her. She done her best for me. I never knew any thing els or beter. You can not loos what you never have ect. pmy few friends love my mum & respect her. That makes me feel even more proud of her as I know she was of me. She still is. They say loved ones go to be our guardien angels. I hope so but she was already my gaurdien angel when she was here. I put on a happy face to people but Im like the King of clowns. Inside its a diferent storry I cover the pain well & play my part in life so well. But at times I have heared folk say to each other. (YOU can see the hurt & pain in thet guys eyes ect.) Most of them dont even know me. It does not matter but it gets to me yet toughes me to hear recognision of my hurt & pain in a positve way. Im not looking for pitty ectbut its ok. I am afectionate .like to hug & be huged.I like to re aure others & be re asured. Not always just in word a they can mean little or nothing. I dont like faulse promies being made to me.I\'d rather folk say they will try to do this or that for or with me. I have been bulied at school. Rejection of many kinde i nothing new to me. it hurts a times. Price tag friend ship is another thing I have sufferd. For example. They dont want you but wat you can give or do for them & saying no means you loose them ect. Thease kind of folk are not worth knowng. Im a forgiving guy & I dont hate people though. Hatred jut holds you back & life is too short fot it. i can & do wrise above all negativity. ---- PLEAE READ MY JERNALS ON HERE & MY OTHER PROFILES ON OTHER NET WORKS AS STATED. www.myspace.net www.plentyoffish.com . User names orbiefangraham orbiefan5 orbiefan.graham & gregory45. please tell like minded family friend about me. I have my mum poems ect so I have some things that belonged to her to remember her by ect along with every thing else. Im a bit of a sentimentalit on places peoplr & other things. I ue relevent thing from the past to learn from. Even to help othr too. This helps to block it from holding me down ect but use it in positive ways. There is no beter way to learn than to do it & to have goen through the things we have ect. You can read ome thing in a book & later have to recap on it but its not so if you have experienced it. I sufer from dyslexsia. some posible depresion acsiety some hearing loss mostly in my right ear a peperated ear drum & stress. I have done a colage couse on the introdution to caring & counseling. I know the basics of psycology & how to use it. It has came in handy. I have a bit of 6th sence. intuision second sightor the gift of profasy. I can read vibes facial &body lanuages as well asinto what is done & said or not. My friend here is witness to thease things. I do not play God or use my gifts too often as it can blow the mind ect. I do wear Glases & a hearing aid. I have some hearing loss. Im sure I have at least one thing on comin from what i have put here with you & others. Maybe more. I have learned many things in my life. One of them is tat in order to love others as I do I have got to love my self. I have learnt how to do that. We are all special in our own way. Im a forgiving sort of person. I dont claim perfection but No one can. How I can do good to & for others when I have been through so mutch is because I do not stoop down to the negative leval of doing wrong to others because I have had wrong done to me. Why?.) Because even in this way 2 wrongs do not make a right & stooping to a lower leval gets us no where ect. Another way of turning negative to positive. I have The greatest respect for my idel Roy Orbison. He is one person I can look up to & dont we all need that too?. One reason being the fact tat after loosing his first wife in a motor bike accident 1n 1966 folled by the los of 2 of his 3 school age sons in a house fire. Then in 1968 then he gets a major heart bypass operation done to him in 1979 but he still caried on singing & racording records pleasing his fans. So when i amgoing though hell I think of what he suffered & it helps me. I then think (If he can get through that & carry on doing good ect then I can get thoug this & do like wise. Mind over matter. I do sufer from insomia fobiers of higts some briges & open spaces our or in doors. Some panick atacks posible bowel problems & randome pains at random times & parts of mt limbs & body.My dear mum & I know what its like to have our house broken into & things stolen even by folk we knew & thougt we could trust. I know what its likr to have my mum held at knife point by drug adicks raiding our home holding a pointed sharp object at our dogs eyes. Peaple steeling from us even when we were out. Being forced to do things we did not want to. I have learned that it can Help if we look at what makes people do wrong. & not just look at the wrong. There is no excuse for some things that happen & more so evil things but If more of us looked at it in both ways then the reaction we take to it may be more of a positive one. My mum always used to say wen I was a boy what was wrong ect. & steeling was one of tem. We had to end up doing just that later on in my child hood but it was to servive & we had little choice. No one to turn to. As a child I had to get electric shock treatment to stimulate my speach & ability to talk. Speatch theropy was an added thing. I was in & out of hospital. --OUR WELCOME TO VIEW MY WEB SITE but it is not completed yoet. It has linke on it to my other profiles as well as a link to a curch we used to go to. The link is te web address. You wil be prompted as to how to fid 2 of my dear mum\'s poems with a reflection speatch I write for & said at her funelal service. My mum would say Keep your chin up son. You can get treatment for a cut ect but not for a hurt mind. My mum & I did get baptised 3 or4 years before her death. My frien did it just 2 years later. I aranged both. PLEASE DON\'T use the given email address to avoid it getting blocked up. Please mesage me on DS only. My web address is www.graham-forrester.com. I have had a colonosccopy.and i have some leisions and piles .. I dont point the finger at others as that wuld be me claiming perfection and IM NOT perfect .No one is