SendInTheClowns
Status: I'd like to shoot the person who said, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." See how strong you feel after that!
Mood:
Ok
Offline
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It's funny how when you're a child, you pretty much take life at face value. You take what you get for a family and think it's "normal". It took me years in therapy to understand that not only...
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Today I thought I would clarify the vague statement in my profile referring to my husband's decision that we're separated.March 31, 2002, after way too many years in a house that was too small (and...
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About the real me... Married--legally, but separated for the past 8 years according to my husband, who I still live with for economic reasons. Four kids (27, 25, 22, 18). My two oldest are drug...
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There is no music in my heart....only pain. Now that I'm not going nuts at work I have time to feel the hurt. Whoever said "tis better to have loved and lost..." obviously has NO clue.
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Monday again....I marvel at how time can go so quickly yet move so slowly. As usual I spent the entire weekend sleeping. I wonder how much of it is me trying to avoid the pain of living and how...
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Well, here I am again with the same thoughts, same feelings, same sadness. I have come to the sad conclusion that I don't have a life and it's all my own fault. My psych, my counselor, and my...
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Today I stood and watched my daughter cry as she held her baby girl in her arms for the last time before handing her over to the adoptive parents. Even though we all agree it is the best thing for...
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...nor will I ever put my heart and soul into another friendship. It's just not worth it. It hurts too much when they leave.
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I honestly don't understand what horrible thing I did in a past life that would cause me to have to endure such pain in this one. How can it possibly be right that I have ALWAYS been there for my...
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...actually, everything. For a couple of months I had someone who really cared about me--or thought so anyway. As usual, I chose someone who was emotionally unavailable. But for those couple of...
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I can't decide if this is funny or pathetic, but I'm really not sure which support group to join. Depression? Anxiety? Grandparents raising grandchildren? Family members of drug addicts? ...
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Wow....it's quite a daunting task to embark upon writing this journal. So much of what I have to say requires a preface and even extensive background to make any sense. I'm not exactly sure how to...
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On November 11, 2011, at some time between midnight and 9:30 am, my beloved 26 year old son lost his 10 year battle with heroin addiction.It was a senseless, pointless, yet probably inevitable death....
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I can't even find the words to write. There's just too much pain and nobody to help me bear it. No, not even God.
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This is a really horrible thing to say, but sometimes I find myself wishing that my two oldest kids would just go ahead and die so I can stop dreading it. I want to start grieving their deaths...
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