TRuss81

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• Gambling Addiction & Recovery
  

  It's been awhile

  Posted by: TRuss81

  Last Reply: Robin-Mc 06/17/2017

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  its been awhile since I checked in and of course, I have gambled since the last time I've written a message on here. Expressing the terrible thoughts that go along with gambling is a painful thing. I've been going quite frequently recently, maybe it's the change of season, maybe it's because I'm leaving my job in a few weeks and training someone new and it's a little frustrating and bitter and sweet all at once. Who knows? Who cares why? Just know that I've been feeling the need/ urgency to do...

• Gambling Addiction & Recovery
  

  Discussion Like

  Posted by: TRuss81

  Posted: 05/14/2017

  TRuss81 liked the discussion Feelings.

• Gambling Addiction & Recovery
  

  Discussion Comment

  Posted by: TRuss81

  Posted: 05/10/2017

  TRuss81 commented on the discussion It takes whatever it takes.

• Gambling Addiction & Recovery
  

  Discussion Like

  Posted by: TRuss81

  Posted: 05/10/2017

  TRuss81 liked the discussion It takes whatever it takes.

• Gambling Addiction & Recovery
  

  Discussion Like

  Posted by: TRuss81

  Posted: 05/10/2017

  TRuss81 liked the discussion Freedom.

• Gambling Addiction & Recovery
  

  Discussion Like

  Posted by: TRuss81

  Posted: 05/10/2017

  TRuss81 liked the discussion 2 years 6 months GF as of Yesterday.

• Gambling Addiction & Recovery
  

  I'm happy to have found this ...

  Posted by: TRuss81

  Last Reply: Robin-Mc 04/30/2017

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  I was going to come in here and say I'm still battling this demon, which is true but it's also easier for me to say that, rather than its day 1 again ( which it is).I was able to stay gamble free for a week, but yest. was back at it again. But at least I have this place to share my failures and struggle and that's helping me with the anxiety that comes with the secrets... I still have a long way and I'm obviously not in a good place, but I'm thankful for the platform to let some of this baggage...

• Gambling Addiction & Recovery
  

  Discussion Comment

  Posted by: TRuss81

  Posted: 04/24/2017

  TRuss81 commented on the discussion Gamble free weekend.

• Gambling Addiction & Recovery
  

  Discussion Comment

  Posted by: TRuss81

  Posted: 04/24/2017

  TRuss81 commented on the discussion Getting put to the test.

• Gambling Addiction & Recovery
  

  Gamble free weekend

  Posted by: TRuss81

  Last Reply: TRuss81 04/24/2017

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  So I've had a pretty good weekend and didn't think about gambling at the casino at all, however, this weekend I did have a bad urge to play my casino games on my phone ( pitiful, right?). Well I deleted the apps the first day I joined daily strength and haven't played them since then. I would always play them and I mean daily, a few times a day, but I figure playing those games keeps my mind, my brain addicted to the slots... It was hard to fight the urge yesterday, but I know I need to develop...

• Gambling Addiction & Recovery
  

  Discussion Comment

  Posted by: TRuss81

  Posted: 04/23/2017

  TRuss81 commented on the discussion Today is 59.

• Gambling Addiction & Recovery
  

  Discussion Like

  Posted by: TRuss81

  Posted: 04/23/2017

  TRuss81 liked the discussion Today is 59.

• Gambling Addiction & Recovery
  

  At least it's Friday

  Posted by: TRuss81

  Last Reply: Robin-Mc 04/21/2017

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  Today, I don't feel as bad as yesterday. But that's what I hate about it, the remorse and the shameful feelings don't seem to last that long for me, like I can forget about all its caused by the time I'm running back there. I hope to soon have the insight so that I can learn to "play it out, how things will end, the feelings after I give in" in my head and stop myself from gambling before I "act it out and actually have to endure the cycle". Enjoy the weekend and f**k gambling...

• Gambling Addiction & Recovery
  

  Discussion Comment

  Posted by: TRuss81

  Posted: 04/21/2017

  TRuss81 commented on the discussion Day 1 again.

• Gambling Addiction & Recovery
  

  Day 1 again

  Posted by: TRuss81

  Last Reply: TRuss81 04/21/2017

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  So I really wanted to come on here and say that it was day 6 and I'm holding on, but I'm not and I haven't. I gambled yesterday and since I keep my consistent gambling from everyone, my spouse, my kids, friends and not even my gambling counselor knows the extent, I am choosing to be transparent here. I need a safe place and space, I guess I fear that judgement lives everywhere... I know I also have to stop judging myself and beating myself up about it, but how can I? It's me who can't stop...