Mauszer

After struggling to save my marriage for almost a year, things are finally going down the drain.  In the last week I have moved out of my house and into an apartment and my failing marriage has...

...since my last journal entry.  I have realized now the true nature of the the beast I am dealing with.  In truth, after determining what I need to know regarding my wife's "incident," I can...

... but today things to be bothering me a lot more.  I guess it could just be depression... a dip in the emotional rollercoaster.  It isn't overwhelming, but I certainly don't feel as positive as I...

I spent another great night with the wife last night, just talking and being in love.  I felt a wave of depression looming just over the horizon, but her love, understanding, reassurance, and kind...

Last night was my brother's birthday, so after a very insightful appointment with the counselor, I went over to my parents house.  Lo and behold, my dad's inlaws were there discussing their trip to...

Well, Halloween is over by a few minutes now.  I just put a couple more logs on the fire, and the wife is sitting on the Sofa in my flannel shirt watching a chick flick.  It is a good end to a good...

I am sitting in my office right now, and the tears are running down my face.  How could someone who loved me so much say and do such terrible, devastating things?  I truly feel like a broken man...

After seeing my wife on the phone in the bedroom talking to her mother (which she used to tell me she was doing when she was in the bedroom talking to her OM), this night just keeps getting worse. ...

Just one of the reasons I am so tormented in my marriage...  When I was in the Philippines, some of the guys from work took me too a strip club.  Well, I found out after being there, a strip club...

Sometimes I wonder... will my marriage ever be the same?  Will I ever be able to watch her take off her shirt without imagining her doing it on a webcam for someone else?  Will I ever make love to...

I had a great conversation with my dad today about how my mother treated us both, which is nice.  I was talking with him about the abuse, and he opened up about some of the things she did that hurt...

It is really very strange how the human mind works.  It has always remembered that the abuse that I depicted last night happened, but immediately blocked the aspects of it that really made it life...

WARNING:  THE FOLLOWING JOURNAL ENTRY CONTAINS GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF PHYSICAL ABUSE AND INCLUDES STRONG LANGUAGE FOR ACCURACY. I am writing it here at 4am as I truly feel that this is a...

I can feel myself sinking.  I thought about a silly wig I found in the laundry room a few days ago, and couldn't help but wonder if my wife had bought it to hide her identity when she would chat...

After struggling to save my marriage for almost a year, things are finally going down the drain.  In the last week I have moved out of my house and into an apartment and my failing marriage has...