Another long night...

After seeing my wife on the phone in the bedroom talking to her mother (which she used to tell me she was doing when she was in the bedroom talking to her OM), this night just keeps getting worse.  I dragged myself to bed, only to lie there and think about all the horrible crap I saw going back and forth between my wife and the OM, and of course did the obligatory mental imagry of him masturbating just like he was in the picture I found, and just couldn't take it any more.  I am humiliated, angry, depressed, hurt... Now I get to spend another sleepless night in the spare bedroom alone and hurt.  No wonder I am sick, figuring as how on a good night I wake up every half hour to stare at the clock, and on a bad night I simply don't sleep at all.  What a wonderful world I live in. All my wife can say is "I feel you pulling away from me, and I don't even blame you."