How are you doing Creo?

I am doing okay--today is better than yesterday.
My post 'change' sums it up, I guess.
Thanks for asking.
xo

MIss I loved what you said!!! Yayyyyy!!!! It makes me excited to see your strength!! and ability to not let one little shit make you his slave!!! Its true...we can do this...i believe we have power in numbers... and this is the exact place i need to be!!! Congrats on your growth and being able to listen to the music and even sing along!!!! Aaaahhhh this is where its at!! :)

:) That is awesome that you feel this way right now.
Look, you WILL have set-backs, guaranteed. I just had one a few minutes ago. My phone went off and I prayed that it was him and of course, it wasn't. I wanted to cry. There are many moments in teh day when I want to just break down. I have to consciously think of how shitty he made me feel over and over again. The obsession creeps up on me very often, it tries to reason with me as to why I should reach out to him. I make excuses for him, I imagine that it's okay to call him. But wow, where is my credibility if I do?? My integrity, my dignity, my BALLS! lol. I can't bring myself to do it. That's not to say that i won't cave when/if he calls me. I don't know what will happen, I'm so afraid of that moment. Which is why a great big part of me hopes he doesn't. It'll be a painful process for me but essentially, this is the way I look at it: If I contact him, this disgusting mess will start all over again, and I'll give him more ammo. Then years down the line, I'll be exactly where I'm at right now, or worse. He'll lose all respect for me, not tomention the respect I'll lose for myself. This way, if I keep strong, I will not be that stupid girl, I will be that girl who stood up to him, no mercy. I feel so much better about myself right now...even as shitty as I feel some moments.

Gina, Hold your head up, girl. Seriously.
xo

Missmom: I'm so glad you started this thread. You make me feel like it's okay that I still have to fight the urge to write a letter or text or send smoke signals or whatever to my ex-bf and set the record straight. I get SO upset about the lies he tried to -- and DID! -- get me to buy into... upset with him, upset with myself. I want to control the situation and take him to his knees and make him suffer, suffer, suffer all the injustices and projections I allowed myself to suffer at his hands. Even today I caught myself ruminating over all of it.

And then I remember I have options. I've made progress. I'm moving forward. (I burned the exit letter, Yay!) I'm so grateful for these posts, for they help remind me I'm doing okay, I'm on my way back to myself and that even though my mind messes with me from time to time, there are days when I am totally FREE of him... and is it those days and moments that I need to celebrate. Good heavens, I sure could use another one of those 'free' days. I suppose it's about remembering to let go, again.

Little, you guys inspire me. I'm telling you, if it wasn't for the amazing support I find here every day, i would not be where I'm at. I crash ALOT..get so damn down on myself from literally one moment to the next. I feel like a freaken nutjob. lol. My salvation in those moments is coming on here and absorbing all your strength.all of you. We are not superheros. We hurt and cry and bleed and sweat and struggle. But we're mighty! :)
A friend of mine said recently:
The harder you fall, the higher you'll bounce!

Thank you. All very helpful and uplifting.
I like the knowledge that you have Miss around the inevitable path of giving in and repeating the pattern and looking back years later. The respect that you have created and earned for yourself is amazing.

:) xoxoxo to you creo