Mine has wanted FWB, dropped hints etc. Says he should be able to have sex with me because I'm his wife. Ok, well if you're my husband, then why do you have nothing to do with me? He TOO also wants things on HIS terms. Wants to be able to "have fun", doesn't feel like he should have to answer for his actions if he's an hour late (translation- he sees what is common courtesy and respect as controlling) etc. Lots of things like that. When I told my therapist about the FWB comment (he said: 'yeah I thought about asking you about fwb but know you'd go for that or that you deserve better than that-translations: I'm going to bring up the friends with benefits thing and test the water again to see if you really are unwilling to do this and compromise your standards and test the boundaries here.) my therapist talked about how degrading it was to expect such a thing from me, especially since we're married. How little he respects me. So tired of having such horrible men in my life. My H is by far the worst of the lot and his covert N has been so much more devious and insidious and blindsiding then my Ex2N who was so OVERT and in your face N.

Mine has wanted FWB, dropped hints etc. Says he should be able to have sex with me because I'm his wife. Ok, well if you're my husband, then why do you have nothing to do with me? He TOO also wants things on HIS terms. Wants to be able to "have fun", doesn't feel like he should have to answer for his actions if he's an hour late (translation- he sees what is common courtesy and respect as controlling) etc. Lots of things like that. When I told my therapist about the FWB comment (he said: 'yeah I thought about asking you about fwb but know you' wouldn't go for that or that you deserve better than that-translations: I'm going to bring up the friends with benefits thing and test the water again to see if you really are unwilling to do this and compromise your standards and test the boundaries here.) my therapist talked about how degrading it was to expect such a thing from me, especially since we're married. How little he respects me. So tired of having such horrible men in my life. My H is by far the worst of the lot and his covert N has been so much more devious and insidious and blindsiding then my Ex2N who was so OVERT and in your face N.

Thank You all....The little engine..Thank You for my hug thats so cute:) I just posted a topic for support...I am so grateful to not be alone...Sending love...learning to love me....

yep. I think their passive aggression is borderline abuse.

yep. I think their passive aggression is borderline abuse.

Ah Miss, I tried to reply to your post last night, but my laptop played tricks on me and somehow my post vanished. :-( So here we go again... I used to get the texts at night and then the lack of texts at night. I would usually end of cracking and texting to apologise, and then I would ened up hating myself for cracking and apologising. This kind of texting + silent treatment is designed to break us, to make us miss them. Another of their way to gain control of us. I don't know if they miss us... I think there are various degrees of N's, some worse than others. I do think the N I used to see liked certain things about me (my personality! lol)... but he was too selfish to ever think about me as a person he might enjoy the company of. But all of us here are worth a lot more than a man who might miss us or not. So now repeat after me: 'I am beautiful, I am fabulous, and I owe to myself to be looking after myself!' ;-) Bunny hugs xxx

ABSOLUTELY!

We can dissect it till were blue in the face, the fact of the matter is...it shouldn't be so hard.
personally, I owe it to myself and my son to be with someone who wants to be with us. I left my son's father because he was abusive and a terrible influence to my son...what kind of example would I be setting for him by staying with yet another man who can't step up to the plate? No way!

Miss: You are doing so great. Every post you write saying you're feeling weak is followed by a dozen explaining why you aren't going back to him or another negative situation for yourself and your son. You are brave and even though this is SO HARD, you have this thing under control lady! You know deep inside that this guy isn't capable of bringing to the table what you and your family needs in a man. It's just a matter of time before he's nothing but a faint memory for you. I believe that.

Believe it for you too hun!

Here's something that struck me on my way home from work just now. I love music. Everything i listen to has some sort of memory attached to it. Since my break up with my son's father, 3 years ago, I couldn't listen to Marc Anthony (his spanish stuff) because it reminded me so much of my ex. (he's a musician and used to play alot of his stuff). So I buried that cd so far i couldn't even accidentally find it. Up until not too long ago, I couldn't bear listening to it although I've been over him for about 2 years. It still made me very sentimental. Anyhow, all thsi to say that I put it on today and it did NOTHING for me. Thsi one particular song came on and I was singing along for a few minutes until I realized it was OUR song. Unreal. My emotional connection to it had somehow vanished. And I was ridiculously addicted to this guy for 4 years! I lived with him, he is the father of my son, and I'm subjected to seeing him regularly.
Ladies, we will get through AND over this. I refuse to be a slave to one little shit of a person. He does not define me, he does not control me, he does govern my well being. PERIOD

Believe it for you too hun!

Here's something that struck me on my way home from work just now. I love music. Everything i listen to has some sort of memory attached to it. Since my break up with my son's father, 3 years ago, I couldn't listen to Marc Anthony (his spanish stuff) because it reminded me so much of my ex. (he's a musician and used to play alot of his stuff). So I buried that cd so far i couldn't even accidentally find it. Up until not too long ago, I couldn't bear listening to it although I've been over him for about 2 years. It still made me very sentimental. Anyhow, all thsi to say that I put it on today and it did NOTHING for me. Thsi one particular song came on and I was singing along for a few minutes until I realized it was OUR song. Unreal. My emotional connection to it had somehow vanished. And I was ridiculously addicted to this guy for 4 years! I lived with him, he is the father of my son, and I'm subjected to seeing him regularly.
Ladies, we will get through AND over this. I refuse to be a slave to one little shit of a person. He does not define me, he does not control me, he does govern my well being. PERIOD

Believe it for you too hun!

Here's something that struck me on my way home from work just now. I love music. Everything i listen to has some sort of memory attached to it. Since my break up with my son's father, 3 years ago, I couldn't listen to Marc Anthony (his spanish stuff) because it reminded me so much of my ex. (he's a musician and used to play alot of his stuff). So I buried that cd so far i couldn't even accidentally find it. Up until not too long ago, I couldn't bear listening to it although I've been over him for about 2 years. It still made me very sentimental. Anyhow, all thsi to say that I put it on today and it did NOTHING for me. Thsi one particular song came on and I was singing along for a few minutes until I realized it was OUR song. Unreal. My emotional connection to it had somehow vanished. And I was ridiculously addicted to this guy for 4 years! I lived with him, he is the father of my son, and I'm subjected to seeing him regularly.
Ladies, we will get through AND over this. I refuse to be a slave to one little shit of a person. He does not define me, he does not control me, he does govern my well being. PERIOD

Believe it for you too hun!

Here's something that struck me on my way home from work just now. I love music. Everything i listen to has some sort of memory attached to it. Since my break up with my son's father, 3 years ago, I couldn't listen to Marc Anthony (his spanish stuff) because it reminded me so much of my ex. (he's a musician and used to play alot of his stuff). So I buried that cd so far i couldn't even accidentally find it. Up until not too long ago, I couldn't bear listening to it although I've been over him for about 2 years. It still made me very sentimental. Anyhow, all thsi to say that I put it on today and it did NOTHING for me. Thsi one particular song came on and I was singing along for a few minutes until I realized it was OUR song. Unreal. My emotional connection to it had somehow vanished. And I was ridiculously addicted to this guy for 4 years! I lived with him, he is the father of my son, and I'm subjected to seeing him regularly.
Ladies, we will get through AND over this. I refuse to be a slave to one little shit of a person. He does not define me, he does not control me, he does govern my well being. PERIOD

I cant stop thinking about if he misses me at all or not. I cant believe he does not feel anything. But i realize there is no difference for me, even if he misses me he isnt coming back.

I feel so strongly about what I just said, it posted 3 times! LOLOL!

Yay.