Wives of Alcoholics Community Group
A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.
As you may have read in my last posts, I left my AH 3 months ago. He went on a cruise over Christmas with his new girlfriend that he just admitted having two days ago. He told our Kids that he was going with a co-worker.
After not having any contact for 2 months, he was waiting for me by my car after I had taught my exercise class. He wanted to talk.We stood in the parking lot and talked for 4 hours. He was his old charming self. He wanted to talk about the legal issues. He said he wanted to resolve them quickly so that I can have clarity about my future etc.
He was so caring and nice. But the whole time he was talking I kept asking myself what does he really want. I don't trust this new nice person as far as I can throw him. He is a narcisisst. And he does not do anything unless he gains something out of it. In the conversation it came out that he met someone in May. This fits to the time that he started treating me really badly. He made things so bad that I left him (although he was in therapy) in October. He did this so that he could say I left him and he wouldn't look bad .
He always denied that he had someone but I never believed him. And now he admitted to me that he has someone but they are only very close friends and they don't have sex! How stupid does he think I am. He has been seeing her almost every weekend since I left and spent Christmas with her on a cruise!!!! But in sayng this he did seem more at peace. He told me he has his drinking under control. He seemed like a man ready to move on and totally in love. I AM SOOO CRUSHED!!! 23 years of marriage and now he is giving up drinking for someone else!!
He has called all our freinds this week and is trying to mend relationships. He even called his sister after no contact for 10 years. Everyone is very suspicious of his behavior. And although he doesn't say it directly, he indicates that now that I'm gone his main reason for drinking is solved. Can this be true??
He is completely different at the moment. He wants to by me out of our house and I think he wants to move his new girlfriend in. And all this in just 3 months!! I have no words!!! He's treating me like a business deal. He has completely moved on as far as me and our marriage! The kids are also confused by him. No one trusts this new and improved version. Too many changes in such a short time! Unless I really was the reason for his drinking. Is he finally getting it together for another woman?
Any thoughts! Experiences? Insight?
After not having any contact for 2 months, he was waiting for me by my car after I had taught my exercise class. He wanted to talk.We stood in the parking lot and talked for 4 hours. He was his old charming self. He wanted to talk about the legal issues. He said he wanted to resolve them quickly so that I can have clarity about my future etc.
He was so caring and nice. But the whole time he was talking I kept asking myself what does he really want. I don't trust this new nice person as far as I can throw him. He is a narcisisst. And he does not do anything unless he gains something out of it. In the conversation it came out that he met someone in May. This fits to the time that he started treating me really badly. He made things so bad that I left him (although he was in therapy) in October. He did this so that he could say I left him and he wouldn't look bad .
He always denied that he had someone but I never believed him. And now he admitted to me that he has someone but they are only very close friends and they don't have sex! How stupid does he think I am. He has been seeing her almost every weekend since I left and spent Christmas with her on a cruise!!!! But in sayng this he did seem more at peace. He told me he has his drinking under control. He seemed like a man ready to move on and totally in love. I AM SOOO CRUSHED!!! 23 years of marriage and now he is giving up drinking for someone else!!
He has called all our freinds this week and is trying to mend relationships. He even called his sister after no contact for 10 years. Everyone is very suspicious of his behavior. And although he doesn't say it directly, he indicates that now that I'm gone his main reason for drinking is solved. Can this be true??
He is completely different at the moment. He wants to by me out of our house and I think he wants to move his new girlfriend in. And all this in just 3 months!! I have no words!!! He's treating me like a business deal. He has completely moved on as far as me and our marriage! The kids are also confused by him. No one trusts this new and improved version. Too many changes in such a short time! Unless I really was the reason for his drinking. Is he finally getting it together for another woman?
Any thoughts! Experiences? Insight?
Christmases: I really echo and appreciate when you wrot
e"I hate it when he makes me doubt myself. When he told me he quit drinking, I wondered, did he not really drink as much as I thought? How could he quit without help? Did I imagine, or overreact? I did count his empties many times over the years and I have the credit card bills to show his typical liquor purchases. And I did ask him to cut back, which he refused. and Also, the same controlling, manipulative personality is still there. "
I sooo needed to hear that and I need to say it when I have dobts myself - thanks
I left my AH 5 months ago and it is so strange how much I still doubt myself. I think its all part of the process. I'm not sure how much hes drinking right now because we have very little contact. But he is still his controlling manipulative self. We have started the divorce proceeding and he has already done so many things behind my back!! I won't go into all the details but drinking or not drinking, he is and will always be a narcisisst! That alone is reason enough to let go and move on!!!.
Best wishes!