I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you didn't have to go through it. I can relate with everything you wrote. My prayers are with you. It is the hardest thing in the world. Coming here has helped. I hope you have peace and comfort through the night.

I've had every single one of them. Nothing harder than what we all go through. Take comfort in knowing that either you're not alone, or we are all crazy in grief. You've come to a good safe place as you try to come to terms with what will always be the worst time of your life. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that could ever be worse than what our grief does with us. You'll be alright eventually. Glad you found us. ~~~ Scottie

I'm so sorry you lost your husband. I identify with how you feel. I lost my love 6 months ago. In the first couple months I kept saying through my tears where are you when are you coming home. I had so many times of picking up my phone to text him as I used to do when he was at work to say I love you or something that was going on that I wanted to share. I felt like who am I without the other half of my being. As time goes I settle into accepting myself as who I am now. I just started coming here but it has been helpful reading and writing posts. Most people mean well but don't understand unless they have lost their other half that completed them. Hugs to you as I know how much you need love that understands your pain

Two months into this after my husband passed away without any warning and still trying to make sense of everything and trying to figure out how to not be part of a couple. I still talk to him and ask him questions. I have read several very helpful books to know that the way I express my grief is not unusual. I am also very grateful to have found DS in the early days. As Ellebelle said unless someone has experienced this kind of loss, it is hard for them to grasp the depth of our pain each one of us faces. We grieve so deeply because we loved our partner so deeply. Peace to you! Betty

Ditto what others have commented. This is, I believe, the most painful experience one that has had great love will ever know. Not much I can say that will be of comfort, but I will share that seeing a grief counselor is helping me. I have gone to one Griefshare meeting and will likely go again. The goofy thing I do that does make me feel better is I talk, cry out loud to my husband. I pretend he is right there with me and I am talking to him as we did when sitting on our deck or lying in bed before nodding off. Of course I know he is not physically there with me but actually saying out loud what I am thinking and worrying about does seem to be helping me cope. A journal would probably do the same type of thing, but some of my thoughts are just to private and the thought of someone besides Joe reading them prohibits me from doing so.
Prayers to you as you walk this awful road.
I noticed your username. My husband always teased me that he wanted to buy an African Grey parrot. Somehow I always feared one of us would die young. I would admit to him that while I know I will NEVER love another the way we loved, I would hope to find a pragmatic type of love to help make the remaining years not so lonely. I always told him that I would want him to find someone new but with 2 conditions. She would need to love our children and be accepted by both his family and mine, and work out the financial stuff so that half of what we had at the time of either's death would be invested and given to them as an inheritance if not needed to live off of. (Family history behind that) Joe would say I hear what you are saying but I think I will just get a bird and call her the nickname he had for me. My kids even were in on it saying they will adopt the bird when my husband passes since they live for so long. Anyway, Father's Day was so hard. I went out for dinner with my son to our favorite place and saw this...IMG_1677.JPG
How crazy is that?
Blessings to you parrotluvr!❤️

Very much so. I have these moments too. The author below has these moments as well.
https://www.dailystrength.org/journals/catherine-tidd-lonely-not-powerful-enough-word-to-describe-w

I feel the same way. My husband was healthy, he had a heart attack and was gone. I decided to leave my home and start again. Too many memories. It's been three months and just feel like nothing is right and I can't do anything right. I still cry all the time. I'm going through the motions of life but not really alive.

Its gotten easier for me i found a new goal and have almost completed it..its been almost 16 months for me since my galaxy left.and i search every day for things that make me happy..watching birds the moon and stars and i say to myself what a wonderful world...it helps me to find the love.

I want to thank everyone for their replies. They really were helpful. I know I'm lucky to live near friends and family and that does help a lot but all of you know what it's like to have your very best friend gone. I'm sorry all of you have gone through/are going through this. I wish no one ever had to go through it again.

3.5 years for me and I still have her memory attached to just about everything so as of right now, I am going to have to say no.

It's been 12 days for me and I still feel numb. I think the feelings you're having are normal. This is the worse thing imaginable for all of us. Just keep the faith. You and your family will be in my prayers.