Actually just remembered my younger son never signed the cards. When I asked him why he said so I could pretend they were from David.
This broke my heart-for both of us. I never told him because I knew it was done out of love but it was painful.

I have put the cards in a box and will re-read them when I can. I still get an occasional card. I had one not too long ago from a guy he went to school with. Apparently someone updated his high schools on-line year book. It was a beautiful card with a short note of how grateful he was to have had Tom as a friend. As for plants and flowers, I sent one home with each of his 8 brothers and sisters, his mother and anyone else I could catch before they went home. The funeral home took pictures of each floral or plant that came in. I put those pictures in the box as well.

I recieved flower arrangements for the funeral, I recieved a few cards with money and many cards. So much was going on at the time and I didn't even know some of the people that these came from. I made a speach after the reception, the only time I spoke during all of the services, I thanked everyone but I never sent thank you cards...to overwhelming...I hope they understood.

Those thank you/acknowledgement cards were horrible. My mom is a bit OCD when it comes to stuff like that so she sent most of them. I did the special ones like the kids schools/teachers and my friends & family.

I agree, the thank-yous were incredibly difficult...I ended up using the boring ones from the funeral home for businesses and more personal ones for ppl. I knew, but, yes...one more obligation for us when we can't see straight.

Take care, all,

~AJ

Several of the cards I received were signed by groups of people, some who had taken the time and effort and care to take up a collection as well. I wasn't sure about the whole thank you card thing, but inasmuch as these folks had taken the time and effort to do that much for me and my boys, I wanted to thank them. The others were from friends who had helped with the funeral preparations and participated in the funeral. In my husband's faith, the body has to be bathed and wrapped and prayed over. How do you thank someone who had the wherewithal to prepare your husband's body for burial? How do you thank someone who sang a hymn so beautifully at the funeral that everyone cried? How do you thank the friends and family that were the pallbearers - it took 9 of them, Cliff was a big guy - how?

Those memories are so surreal. Like so much of this experience has been these 2.5 years...

I have all the cards together in one spot. I did re-read them at one year. It was strange, but comforting, and also comforting to reflect on how much I had survived and accomplished in that year, including after the cards had stopped and everyone thought I must be "over it" because I was "doing so well." It's like TJ said, everybody gets back to their own lives and has no clue what it takes to make a new one for yourself.

And like Marsha said, don't ever think you're whining - this is the one place we can all say these things, and we get it.

Love and Hugs, Martha

I did not get plants, flowers, etc. - only cards for about one month. What made it weird was that my husband died about 3 weeks before Christmas. So I had two groups of cards in my living room - the Christmas cards strung over a doorway like always, and a table with all the sympathy cards from people. I had about equal amounts of cards between the two groups. I was grateful for the cards, read them all, put them away and eventually dumped them when I moved about a year later. The message that meant the most to me came from a couple who knew Stan for years and knew about his struggle with bipolar and other issues: they said that he seemed more at peace after he married me. Thankfully, I don't remember getting any card that seemed insincere or trivial. laurabp

I know I haven't fully accepted Rob's death (but am getting closer since coming here); I think that's why the cards hurt so much now .. a constant reminder day after day in my mail. I have been putting them in a safekeep box but always wondered what I'd do with them. After reading so many replies about reading them at the year mark, I think that sounds like a wonderful idea. Maybe then the kind words about Rob won't be so agonizing to read.

Thanks so much - it helps knowing others have walked in my shoes and offer such love, support and guidance. You truly all are a blessing.

Pam

Marsha - I did not send thank you's for the condolence cards either, unless they had sent a gift or made a donation of some kind, or sent flowers to the funeral. I was told that just a card did not need a response. Hope that right! laurabp

I found so many things that 'brought the tears to the surface' and cards were only one of them. It's a normal part of grief I'm sorry to say. Whine all you want, Loving, you are in the place where it's understood and encouraged. Yes, even encouraged. All those emotions have to be dealt with and it's easier when you have someone to share them with. Sharon

Laura, I went through a similar thing as Cliff died 6 weeks before Christmas. For weeks it was sympathy cards, then those were followed by Christmas cards - like everything was back to normal?? Like I say, it was a surreal time...

The cards will stop when everyone knows about your new journey.
I took a long time but I finally sent thank you cards to everyone for their cards, flowers, plants, dinners, and most importantly their shoulders to cry on. Maybe don't read them one by one, maybe read them just one day a week? Whatever works. So sorry for your reason to be on this (wonderful) site. Hugs, Wendy

Somehow it doesn't seem right to complain about receiving cards. I have read many posts on DS complaining about no one ever saying anything about their loss or acknowledging their pain. Maybe I'm an oddball, but the cards I received were welcome - as expressions of kindness, comfort and love for the loss of my husband.

Complain or not, it adds to the pain. Besides, I wasn't complaining about GETTING them .. just stating the fact it is so hard to read. As stated numerous times, we all deal with certain things differently .. no right or wrong. I liked the idea of reading them once a week (thanks Wendy).

Pam, I understand what you're saying and felt the same way. I was glad people showed they cared but cried reading each one. As a matter of fact, I cried at almost everything for quite awhile. We have to handle things in our own way. Take care.