Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

When do the condolence cards stop?

lovingrob
lovingrob
I am so tired of receiving cards everyday in the mail. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but after 4 weeks I thought they'd be done coming. I cringe and cry every time a new one comes in. This card today was from the fostercare agency where Rob and I adopted our two fostersons. Of course the caseworker had to write her own sentiments about how wonderful Rob was (is) .. and again, not meaning to sound ungrateful, just very hard to read over and over and over.

Okay, done whining
Pam
deleted_user
deleted_user
Those cards were a double edge sword in the beginning. I hated why I was getting them but I was grateful people cared.

I couldn't read them at the year mark. But today as I mark the 2nd anniversary they are priceless. when I first read them all I saw was blah, blah, blah. Today, I read the sentiments and I heard and felt what they were saying. Even found a card from his ex that had pictures of my guy with her kids. I say loud and clear that it was a freakin pleasure to consciously tear them up.

I wish I had thought about opening them up one a week or preplanned day. Such an awsome idea. Maybe by doing that you will have more of sense of control during this uncontrolable time. Pam, (big grin) I won't send you a card but I do send a prayer for much peace.
lovingrob
lovingrob
nanny & zoe, thanks for understanding what I was trying to say. I am very grateful for the cards and kind words .. is just too much right now. Thanks again, Pam
deleted_user
deleted_user
I got cards for about 4 weeks. I appreciated the sentiment, but it was painful to read them. I have them all put away out of site - it still hurts to even look at them. I totally understand where you are coming from. You can only handle so much, and the cards are just a painful reminder of your loss.
Hugs,
Susan
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi there. I received cards for a month or so after Mariee passed away. I honestly have not opened the cards yet, I have put them in a box and hope that one day I have the strength to read them. My thoughts and prayers are with you. One day at a time.
Community Leaderacuriousfish
acuriousfish
I get one on the anniversary of my wife's death from one of her patients (she was a psychotherapist). Unfortunately I don't know where he lives because it's not something I wanted at the one year and two year anniversary. Hopefully he will stop.
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