We are all different. Some might choose to be alone because they are too selfish, too controlling, too ambitious, or just never met the right person for them. But then there are some of us that need someone to complete us, to live our life with and for, to love and be loved with all we are. The old saying, you don't know how good you had it until it is gone holds so true. I can only speak for myself, but honestly, I need someone to share my life with, to build a life together, to live for her. For me, that is joy and that is life. Yes, I had to do deep introspection to become comfortable with being alone with myself. But for me, that is merely existing. I want life and life more abundantly. I had it once. And God willing, I will have it again. My previous alone time was more than 32 years ago, as a young punk bachelor - thought I had it all figured out. I was never lonely then because I never really knew what love was or how great love could be. I was ignorant as to what I was missing. And then I became blessed to spend the greater part of my life being taught and learning how to love and be loved. That is life. That is living. For me anyway. Just the way I was put together I guess. ~ Scott

Hello Michele,
They are content. They just never had the comfort of that "other". Just like we have to learn to function without the other person; they must learn to function with one.
I guess is like being young and sleeping alone...once you have that soulmate in your life you must learn to sleep with someone else in your bed. lol
I had to leave home at 16 and was fine and happy being alone, Now I don't remember how! Pete was a constant part of me for 14 years and now I must learn how to be that one again and how to sleep in that bed alone.
I hope we all find our way to that peace rather sooner than later, but until then we are here so you are not so alone.
~Sue

I used to wonder the same thing. Then, when I was 23, I lived with my parents across the street from a woman in her early 40s. At the time I lived with my parents and always felt like I needed to be in a relationship.

The lady and I used to ride together in what was called a van pool--11 people all working for the same company riding to work in a large van. Anyhow, she always seemed happy. She was single and didn't have children. I could see her from our apartment because she kept the draperies open. She would play the piano or read. Later she adopted a little boy.

One day I asked how she did it. I was tired of feeling miserable whenever I wasn't in a relationship. She told me that she learned to live her life fully, not to wait for a man to come along to make her happy. "A man should be an addition to your life, but you are the one in charge of having a fulfilling life with or without him."

She went on to tell me that she had lived in many cities and had always adopted a family--new friends that she became close to. She would spend time with them on special holidays and had both male and female friends who would go with her to events.

She was happy being alone too, she said. She was learning to play the piano and loved to read. She'd never married, but had a full life.

So, I took a page from her and pretty much modeled myself after her. I stopped waiting for a relationship to be happy and found that on my own. I was a happy single woman who could have remained that way my entire life. I gave it up when I met my husband. But now that I'm widowed I feel fine being by myself. It took some time to get back to this point. I'm afraid I'd become spoiled having my wonderful husband all those years.

You know it's strange--I can't remember her name, but I'd say she was one of the most influential people in my life.

I understand how you feel. My husband died 13 months ago and I miss him so much and I am so lonely I can't stand it. I feel like I am the only person in the world. I just exist is exactly how I feel. I function, I have kids, g/kids I interact with but it isn't the same. I still fell like I just exist. It's horrible. I stay sad. I hope in time things improve for both of us. Linda

More than one of every four people live alone in the US, and that figure has become greater. We are not alone. It is a life style. Knowing that gives comfort sometimes. Hugs,Tiger