Okay Laura -- I'm probably not the "norm" here. I took my wedding ring off 2 weeks to the day after Ross died. I felt like it was burning a hole through my finger! I had a little ceremony all alone out by the pool and said yet another goodbye to a symbol of our life together. I penned the following in my journal that morning by the pool

-------------
CIRCLE OF LOVE

I took off my wedding ring today.
I couldnt look at it anymore
Or bear to feel its cool smoothness against my skin.
A constant reminder of what was, what was supposed to be.
It was like a wet bathing suit rubbing on chapped skin.

It wasnt a fancy ring --
Not exquisite or even particularly eye-catching.
Other women never gushed, what a stunning diamond!
But it looked right at home on my short, stubby finger.
And you picked it out yourself, so I treasured it.
Actually, I never took it off.

I gave you a small diamond because
I only wanted to make a small commitment.
Thats what you laughingly told me on our 19th anniversary!
Just before you abandoned ship.
You asked me if I wanted a bigger diamond.

I NEVER DID.
I DON'T NOW.

For 19 years your love remained steadfast and true.
A lifetime commitment symbolized by metal and precious stones.

Ive saved my ring, all neat and tidy in a pretty silk bag.
It will be passed on someday to another.
A symbol and reminder for future generations.

Today our love came full circle.
----------------

After I wrote the above, I put the ring away in a silk bag in the bottom of my jewelry box. Almost 2 years later I presented this ring to my new daughter-in-law at her bridal shower along with what I had written. A treasure for future generations.

I still wear my wedding band (my diamond was stolen two years after we married- never wanted it replaced) - my band is thick, hammered gold and I wore it on and off during the time I was separated from my husband. I feel "naked" without it right now. Wearing it soothes me. I don't know what I'll do down the road, just doing what I feel I need to do for me right now.

I am at 2 1/2 years now and my ring goes all over the place, right hand, left hand, jewerly box.. It all depends on what I want. So as far as time frame I just chose not to have one.

Thank you, all who have replied so far. I am finding it interesting that many of you took an indirect route, like switching your ring to the right hand, or making the ring into another piece of jewelry rather than simply taking it off and putting it away. laurabp

I never wore a wedding ring and neither did Tom. When he died I thought about it and had a mourning band made with our initials, the year we met and the year he died. It gives me a lot of comfort and, six months in to this, I don't see taking it off. In fact, I've lost a little weight and the ring was getting too loose, so I had another made a size smaller.

I wear the rings the same as always - and I suspect it will always remain this way - at this point I have no intention of changing.

Years after we were married (10?) my husband felt the engagement ring was too small and gave me another with 5 small diamonds. I wear that on my left hand (ever since he gave it to me) and on my right hand I have my diamond engagement ring. I don't know what happened to the wedding band - I think I stopped wearing it when he got me the second ring - don't know where it is now.

My wedding ring had been on my hand for 25 years- since the birth of my second daughter. After Mike died, I tried to take it off to look at it- I couldn't remember if there was an inscription inside or not. I found that I couldn't take it off, so I took it to a jeweler and they cut it off. (no inscription) The nice thing is that they were able to make it bigger so that I can now wear it over my husband's ring on the pointer finger of my right hand, and this is where it will stay forever.

Laura - I took my wedding ring, battered and beaten and missing a miniscule diamond (from smacking it against baking racks) off at a little after a year. Just took it off. But I started wearing my mother's plain gold band on my right hand, and I still do. This is the ring I was married in. I wear Joe's ring around my neck, along with the star of David he gave me years ago. It's hidden under my t-shirts, but I too find I touch it for comfort. I haven't gotten one comment about wearing my ring, and not one comment for taking it off. Thank you, Lord! Hugs, Marsha

Obviously, this is a very personal decision and there is no right or wrong to anything that has been suggested in these posts.

I will be at a year this Dec. 18. I wear my rings as always, and I wear his ring on my left index finger. The style of our rings was somewhat similar so they look good together on one hand. I am still married spiritually so I will not remove my 3 rings. I do not want to date or remarry. I am looking toward Jesus' promise that in heaven we will be together once more and it will be for eternity.

Rob's ring feel off in hospice and I put it on under my wedding and engagment ring which I had not taken off until the other day. It is almost 11 months for me. I moved Rob's ring to my finger next to my thumb because it fits without falling off. I only removed mine because I got a ring tattoo. It is small enough that when it heels I can replace my rings or just have the tattoo. Whatever feels right. Hug, Donna

I am in month 17 and have never considered taking off my rings... still on the left hand where they will remain...:)

I have tried several options, even got a widow's ring, but in the end I have my diamond ring on my left hand. Lost my engagement ring years ago and Sherm kept asking if I was ready to replace it. I told him no for a long time before I realized it was important to him. Wearing my band at work brought questions from patients asking about my hubby. The diamond ring does not trigger questions. And wearing it gives me much comfort.

I had a necklace made with Ruth's engagement ring and our wedding bands and the twins take turns to wear it on special occasions.

I wear my rings because Todd put them there on my hand. There is no reason to take them off. I was also fortunate to get Todd's band back and I wear that on my left hand also. Our bands ate of Irish knot work and very beautiful. I get great comfort from seeing the rings every day. peace...Kaaren

I too am really interested in the responses to this discussion. I have just gone through the one year mark and am still wearing my wedding ring on my left hand. I don't have my husbands ring as this was one of the items stolen in a house burglary many years ago which was not replaced.

At times I think that I may switch the ring to the other hand, in part so as not to have to explain to others who don't know my situation about my husband, but I am unsure. I feel very much married, but another part of me says that as I am now on my own, it may be time to move or change the symbol that honors our commitment to one another.

I read with interest another comment that this is a topic that arises very regularly, I guess it indicates that there are questions around custom and tradition and personal preference.