I am entering the sixth month without my DH. I wear my rings daily and feel naked without them. Don't know if and when I will ever remove them.

As for creating another jewelry piece, I have specific instructions to have both my wedding set and his band buried with me after I am cremated.

I am also in the 6th month of losing my DH, we are a youg couple he was only 35 and I am 32. Our daughter is now 21 months so I was so brain dead when I was doing the funneral arrangments that I almost let them left the ring on him. Thank God for my father who requested that I take it off for Aubrey in the future. I still where my rings and I wear his ring on a chain around my neck with the thumb print they did at the funneral home of his. I tell people I am married as I feel I am.

At seven months I moved my rings to my right hand and moved a ring I had made with both of our birthstones in to its place because after almost 28 years my hand felt empty. I continue to wear his wedding band on my left thumb where I put it after his accident. I don't know if I will take it off.

I truly think it's a personal decision and there is no right or wrong answer. My widow friend wears her rings and he died 8 years ago. I actually bought myself a new ring from him and continue to do so each Christmas. He always gave me a piece of jewelry for Christmas and I continue the practice for him (or me?) The first one resembles a wedding band so I wear that on my left hand.
I like the thought of having a necklace made of his and my rings and never thought of that. Perhaps that will be this years gift. Don was cremated and a small amount of ashes put in a teardrop that I wear all the time. Last Christmas I bought a circle of life pendant that fits around the teardrop and I love it, so I'm not sure about the other necklace. Sharon

I'm approaching 6 months and still have my rings on. (They have never been off in 30 years, don't know if I can even get them off) I had his buried with him because that is the way I wanted it. I will hand my diamond down to my daughter, but my wedding band I want buried with me. I know I will probably some day take it off, but right now I don't see me doing it in the near future. I'm 54 and don't know if I'll change my mind or not - only time will tell.

I'm not sure, still, but at around a year I took off my wedding band. The poor ring was missing a stone and was bent from walloping it against a rack of bagels. I wear my mother's plain gold band on my right hand - this is the ring I was actually married in (according to Jewish law), and I took this ring off her finger before we buried her. The connection of all the above is very personal, and emotional for me. I wear Joe's wedding ring around my neck, with a Star of David he gave me years ago.

It is my understanding that wearing your ring or no is strictly up to you. I am 10 months out from the death of my husband ans still wear my ring. I don't have any immediate plans to change that. laurabp

I kept my wedding rings on for almost a year and then on our wedding anniversary I decided to take them off. I still wear my husbands ring on a necklace along with a cross. I did read at one time there is a website for widows rings.

I wear my wedding band still and will wear it until the first anniversary of his death, but I don't wear my engagement ring because he died 4 years to the day of the day he proposed. I know that is probably strange of me, but everytime I look at that engagement ring it breaks my heart.

I also carry his wedding band with me everywhere I go on a chain. I know it is so different for each person, but in our culture it was customary for the widow to show mourning for one year after the death of a husband. When that first anniversary hits, I don't know if I will be ready to take it off, and if I am not ready, then I will just keep wearing it until I am ready.

I like the idea of making it into some other piece of jewelry, and I may do that after the year has passed.

I still wear my rings and I wear his ring around my neck. That was my first sign from him.was from his ring. I will always wear them forever until IF God allows someone else to come into my life or until I die.

I did move my wedding band to my right hand about 6 weeks after he died (that was also when I stopped wearing black for mourning). I had a 'family ring' (similar to a mother's ring) custom made with stones to represent my husband, me, and both of our sons. I wore that in place of my wedding ring on my left hand. At some point, I think you have to recognize that you're a widow and not wife anymore, and our rings are symbolic of that. It's a very personal decision and you have to do what feels right for you personally. For me, it felt dishonest to continue to wear my wedding ring (and my anniversary rings) on my left hand as though I were still a wife. As hard as it was, I had to accept that Cliff wasn't coming back and I had to make a new life for myself without him. Cliff was buried with his ring on, it was impossible to get it off (it was 30 years and 100 pounds since he put it on). I still have the rings we exchanged when we renewed our vows and also the diamond anniversary bands he gave me which will go to my sons if they should ever marry.

According to etiquette, it is entirely the choice of the widow/widower whether to continue wearing the wedding ring(s), moving them, or removing them. You'll know if and when you're ready to make any changes. It's entirely up to you.

Love and Hugs, Martha

After Dewey died, I kept my wedding ring on for 13 months. By that time Bobby and I had been doing things together and we were sitting in a booth talking about removing our rings. All of a sudden I just said "now is the time I take mine off".....and put it on my right hand. Bobby, on the other hand took his off a few months later and put his on his key ring. It didn't bother me that he still wore his ring. He said it bothered him and was getting too tight...so he took it off. It feels different wearing it on my right hand but It is where I need to wear it.

Dewey and I were both married before so with his wedding ring, from that marriage along with a ring my mother had, we made a large nugget and I added a diamond on it and he wore it around his neck. Now I wear it every once in a while. I wouldn't think of melting my ring down and making something different with it........ I think everyone is different and whatever choice they choose to do is ok...........hugs to all........Jenny

This may sound odd to many on DS, but I did not wear my wedding
band, even though married to the same lady for 39 years.
I have a condition known as Early Metal Eczema. Every time I wear
anything metal, rings, bracelets, metal watch bands, I break out
in rashes. I believe our wedding bands are stored in a box.
Dennis

Crap, my first post disappeared!

It's a personal decision. I hadn't worn my wedding band for years before my husband died. Never cared for the symbolism/marking.
I remember being shocked when the minister said (at the funeral service) that we were no longer married. It was "'til death do you part". We wrote our OWN vows and that statement was not included.

Anyway, I still felt married for quite awhile after and I still think like a married person, if that makes sense? Maybe it's because I'm a mother, used to including others feelings/needs/wants in decisions that I make.
I'm not nearly as frightened now, being the one to make decisions alone, don't feel like I'm 'free falling', I did at the beginning...or would that be at 'the end'? Hmm, guess it was both.
AJ

When T and I married in 1977, my wedding band and engagement ring were a set. soon "welded" together, had tiny diamonds and were beautiful. In 1979 I started nursing school and wasn't allowed to have any jewelry on my fingers with stones. We could opt for no rings or a plain band. T always had a bit of a jealous streak and didn't want me to appear unmarried so he bought me a plain gold band and put it on my ring finger of my left hand. The flip side to that is that when we were looking for rings before our wedding, he told me emphatically that he wouldn't wear a wedding ring because it might get caught on something (he did some machinist work at the time) and because he didn't like to wear jewelry. I knew both to be true so I decided then and there that I wouldn't worry about him "looking" married and I'd have to be trusting of him no matter how jealous he felt about me.

Fast forward to now and I still have that plain gold band on my left ring finger. I couldn't get it off even if I wanted to. I really don't know how I'll feel about it in the future. The original set is in my jewelry box. I've worn them off and on over the years but always with my little gold band.

I still feel married in the sense that my identity continues to be as Mrs. T, his wife, the mother of his children, his partner forever. I know some of my views will alter as I adjust more and more to his death, to being a "widow", to being a single parent - whether I like it or not. However, the Social Security Administration no longer considers me married. When I applied for survivor benefits 3 weeks after T died, two of the questions the processor filled in without question or comment was "Date marriage ended_______" and "Reason for end of marriage________" . He had to do them both in 2 separate places and I sobbed uncontrollably both times. He didn't say anything either time. He simply paused until I got a grip then continued. I sitll have a hard time thinking about those two questions because I don't want the answers to be true.

I rambled on, sorry, but untimately I hope everyone will feel the freedom to choose to wear their rings or not as THEY decide. There's so few tangible things that give me comfort right now that no matter if someone told me I had to take my ring off or there was some rule, I wouldn't do it until I was darn good and ready...or not.
Blessings to you.