Quit baiting me, she. I will give you a candy instead.
I felt stupid for even thinking about this.

I too miss the physical nature of our relationship. We were always very affectionate with each other. Always holding hands and kissing even after so many years together. I miss having him to hold me when I would cry or if I was scarred. I do both a lot these days. I cant imagine ever having that with anyone else but my loss is still new. Maybe one day.....

i hunger only for Her touch ,kiss , snuggle, look, gone forever and irreplaceable

That’s how I feel Nebby I only want, need and crave for Charlie’s touch-no other could replace his hugs and kisses, the way he held my hand or rolled over and spooned me in the middle of the night. Ugh!

our night spooning was choreographed, we could roll over without breaking contact. jean called it "huggling"

jean would say "lets go to bed and huggle to death" on nov 16, 2016 we did that one last time.

Charlie had bone mets thru-out his lower back, pelvis, hips and femur with a lot of pain...it has been a long time.

jean as well, we had that last night because of the morphine. before that, when i reached out reflexivly to hold her she would sometimes scream in pain

We didn't spoon but we crossed feet. She always had cold feet, so she loved it when put hers on mine, and I enjoyed having her weight on mine.

Nebby, it's beautiful the way you described with Jean. I wished we had that flexibility.

Okay..I've resisted sharing until this point but now I am going to over share. One day I was sitting down on our boat and my husband was feeling frisky so asked me via text to come up to the house. I said " give me some incentive" (Nebby before you comment I was being flirty and had every intention of going up to the house) and he sent me a naughty picture. I hope no one I know ever reads this as it's so stupid but I look at that picture now. It makes me cry. But I miss that. He was cremated. He's never coming back.

Being stupid is a sweet thing to do. It brought a smile to my face.
So glad that you had this memory.

Picture or no picture, we all miss similar types of things Deb.

I'm literally sobbing right now. I miss that connection so much. When he was in the hospital and they kept coming at us with bad news...it's in your spine..it's in your brain...it's in your bones... he looked at me and said I am so sad. I picture you having sex with someone else and it hurts. I said 'ewww that will never happen" and " you are going to be okay so stop" (immunotherapy dreams). My kids and I (they are older - young to mid twenties) discussed this (apparently it was discussed with them as well -- he was on morphine lol). My one son said "Mom, Dad would want you to be happy", yet, the other kids got it.. I was like "no...Dad was jealous of my future possible escapades". I LOVE THAT. I LOVE that my husband was sad and jealous until the end. I can't imagine being with someone else but I'm 54...I also can't imagine being alone forever so who knows. But the fact that my husband wanted to live and wanted to be with me forever and was sad at the prospect of not being with me...I AM HAPPY about that.

Your too young to live alone, and I'm likely too old to not live alone.

I'm happy about that but literally sobbing. This stupid thread. I tried to stay away. It's too painful. I miss him so much.