I agree Nancy and thanks for the reminder of the benefits of massage!! Yes, you might cry (as I have), but it's ever so therapeutic, especially if you have a professional that understands your current grief. So glad you brought this up as an alternative.

I miss the closeness of my husband too. I put his pillow along my back to comfort me at night.

I am in tears reading all the deep sharing... How we miss the love of our lives. Sometimes I wonder if I am in complex grief, whatever that entails. How can one person have so many tears to shed. My heart and soul just misses him and the life we shared. Miss holding hands so much. I keep the big teddy bear he gave me on the bed ... Just have to be very thankful for such a wonderful husband.

Likemyguitar, had a good chuckle when you stated you just want someone to go to lunch with. How we all crave the companionship we once had, the simple things in life. Just someone to be with who accepts us completely, a best friend...
Much peace to all.

Mary..... Believe me you are not crazy.

Like you I miss the hugs/kisses I so loveingly received for 38yrs.
We held hands all the time. I just miss him so, but look at his
pictures to help sooth the pain of him being gone.

I have a old bear that was Larry's when he was a baby.....
Doo-doo is his name & I hug & kiss him .... I know not the same
but will have to do.

I am at the five year mark and still long for the loving touch of my husband,his warm, hairy chest and waking up to him in the morning. How cruel to take him away from me!!

KK

I don't know what it's called - the yearning for those days of being held close that meant everything's ok and I love you and I'll protect you . No words needed just souls connecting and strengthening their bond.
No it's not that you're going crazy, I think it is more like being stranded

I wake up in the night and find myself curled into a little ball (foetal position) how sad, I used to be such a sprawler. My husband was the affectionate one in our relationship. I so miss my big, strong man.

I would give anything and I mean anything to be held in those big strong arms that made the rest of the world go away. I felt so secure, so protected. He always went to sleep with his big hand in the middle of my back. I had told him a short time before he was killed how much I loved that and how it made me feel so secure and protected as we drifted off to sleep.

Mary, you are not going crazy.....I have the same yearnings.....his touch, his kiss and his voice I miss so much. If I could just have one more day.......

I did not have a name for it until I saw the title of your post...At the 2.5 year mark , I also miss the physical contact of having him hold my hand, hug me etc...Yes a friend's hug is nice but there is something so caring and empowering when a hug is given with pure love for the other person generating it ... That's what I miss, that intense connection that means your soul is attached to that better half's soul. A quick hug from a friend has that main ingredient missing.
At 50 I hope to find someone to share on a different level but as important as I had with Howie. At the same time my life these days is about still figuring who I am and standing on my own first .
You are not crazy...You know that saying "You can't miss what you never had" well the same is true of the opposite. I miss what I had...

I have to agree with all that's been said and I can only describe that touch feeling with an old saying.

"A genuine smile is worth a thousand words, a friend is worth more, but a, hang on for dear life, kind of hug, Is Priceless"!

I think that's what we are all missing.

B.R. George.

I used to sleep wrapped up in Cliff's old bathrobe so that I could imagine him holding me. We held hands everywhere, we used to get teased about how affectionate we were. You're not crazy. A massage can be helpful. My sister gave me a "body pillow" to sleep with - it's a very long bolster type pillow. It helped make the bed seem less empty, and that helped. My cat also got a whole lot of lap time, too. He always seemed to know when I needed a hug real bad and would climb up in my lap!

Love and BIG HUGS,
Martha

I agree with so much of the replies here. I miss the hugs and kisses we shared everyday. No better place on a good day or bad day than in his arms. At just past a year I feel stuck in between not wanting to be alone but not ready to start with someone else. It's just hard. Still trying to figure out who I am in this new lifestyle that's been thrust upon me. I have got more "huggy" with friends these days and it helps a little. And at 64yrs young you are definitely not to old to date. I'm in the medical field and we have patients who found each other in their 70's, 80's and 90's. Big cyber hug to you, Liz.

Ed, I wondered why this old one popped back up. Why not start a new one?

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Uh huh. Now ya'all are getting what I was trying to say all along. So this was an old thread brought back to life? Interesting. It is only normal for these feelings to surface, or re-surface, after a period of time. Nothing to feel shameful about. We remember what we had and wish to have it again.