Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I lost my wife the light of my life 7 days ago in a tragic car accident. We had been married for just 6 months, everything hurts atm and I have no one to turn to.
I moved from England to Canada to be with the woman I hoped to spend the rest of my life with, that was a while ago now. We had done the 6 months thing here and there again and again for the last 5 years so we decided it was time to move intogether.
I gave up everything I owned and moved to the other side of the world to be with the only woman I have ever truly loved.
Then 7 days ago she was on her way to a Christmas convention and was hit while turning on a junction. She was killed instantly, I have been told multiple times "She didnt suffer" It gives me some solus but day by day it gets worse. I sit alone in my apartment listening to the Sound of Silence over and over again (Her favourite song). All her friends were more her friends then mine and arent really interested in talking to me, I have so many unanswered questions and so much I need to know still yet I know I cannot ever get an answer since she is gone.
I instead send her messages on Facebook like I expect her to randomly answer me, and sit up all night watching the clock not really sure what it is im waiting for.
When I tell anyone they either say "Oh you're so young you'll get over it" like my age is somehow meant to give me resilience- it doesnt.
I dunno if this is even the place to tell this story to but I just feel like I have to tell someone.
I could go on so much more about the circumstances and how amazing she was but I assume it would be redundant since the whole point anyone comes here is because they loved someone they lost.
I just need someone to tell me where I go from here? Im sick of being told im to young to find it hard. I cry mororless all day and I just dont know what to do anymore. When they talk about guiding lights well she was mine.
I apologise if this isnt the place to post this but I cant really work the site out, as my mind isnt so clear atm.
Thanks ahead of time.
I keep on telling myself im gonna drive up to Mississauga to the scene of the crash like its somehow going to make me feel better but its just a stretch of road it has no value or meaning. I know im randomly going on but I just need to tell someone.
She was the most beautiful person inside and out and now no one will ever get the pleasure of knowing her. She made me feel like a real person and not just some loser.
The day we were married was the happiest day of my life and I so desperately just want to go back to that day somehow. Stop her making that journey, 6 months from then.
Im sorry im going on.
You are only one week into a long, dreadful journey through the grief nightmare. Your friends have no idea that you are enduring the worst emotional pain a human being can experience. Wimp? Are you kidding?! No, my friend. Today, it hurts so bad, it is debilitating. You can't imagine a future and can hardly function. We understand. Many of us are in the same dark place as you, and many of us who have walked this path for a while remember how it was in the beginning when the pain cuts so deep and viciously we didn’t think we would survive it. Having been there, I can promise you: you will survive it and will feel better one day, even if you can't imagine it right now. But it may take a long while. You have found a safe place here where you can grieve and cry and scream and everyone will understand and NEVER tell you that you are so young, you should get over it quickly (I heard that a lot too, and was really puzzled why someone would tell me that.) Four years ago, this site helped me through many a lonely, excruciatingly painful night when I couldn't sleep. None of us can take away the pain you feel, but we can at least listen and share your burden. Wishing you some measure of peace so you can get some rest.
Gentle hugs,
Joni
All I keep on thinking is I need you right now baby.
I really hope the it gets worse after 2 months thing is wrong cause I couldnt and cant handle that.
Just sitting here in the dark alone with no one to talk to is killing me.
I have no idea what it is that is getting me through day to day at the moment. Im still not 100% sure I am not still in shock.
I am a widower at 35 so I feel your pain, like you I dont think its something I'll ever come to accept.
When I moved to Canada I left everything behind and im still confused on if I should try and stay here or go back to England. I only ever moved here for her.
Im just pleased there is people here that have a clue what im going through.
Christmas is coming soon but I dont feel like celebrating it this year it takes all my strength to go to work and not want to just leave.
He would want me to move forward, and not dwell in this dark place of grieve forever..
Kurt, you will experience guilt, regrets for what might have been that is normal..Guilt is the worst, because it serves no useful purpose..we can't change what has happened..
Come here often Kurt, there are many wonderful people here, to help you along this journey, no one wants to travel..Just remember Kurt as you were fortunate have had your wife in your life, she was also fortunate, to have had someone in her life like you Kurt, who truly loved her..
Peace, prayers and many hugs, Kurt.......Gail..
Don't cry because it's over..Smile because it happened...Dr. Seuss...