I'm so sorry Steve. This is a very difficult time for you. I have been in your same position. You will just know the right thing to do. May peace and strength be yours. Hugs, Dolores

My name is Barbara. I was where you are, about two and a half months ago. My husband went to his eternal resting place just over two months ago, and he is no longer suffering. As regwin said above, you will know when it is time to make that decision. It's difficult to lose a spouse, but it's harder to have to be with one to make the decision. That said, sometimes mature love means doing what is best for them, regardless how much you know it will hurt you. My decision was made when there was no hope, and any further treatment would have no positive outcome and would have only caused my husband more pain and suffering, so the withhold any heroic treatment and go with dignity was a no brainer.

Steve my name is Bill.... I've been in your shoes. Listen to what the docs tell you. I do know how hard it is to let the love of your life go. But we have to do what's best for them. Hopefully one day after our time comes we will meet up with them again. That's my hope anyway.

Thank you all for your I just came back from the hospital
and got more bad news
Her colon had ruptured
and is poisoning her insides
I made the decision to DNR
in the results of cardiac arrest which I was told would be eminent. Not a easy thing to do. It's in gods hands now

Will keep you and your wife in my prayers.

Steve, God has heard your prayers.

You and your wife are in my prayers

Stay strong

Steve, somehow you reach inside to a part of you that you didn't even know existed. It is our love for our other that gives each of us the knowledge of what he/she would want us to do. Some of us were fortunate and were told how to let it end. In either case, it is our love that brings us to the most difficult decision of our life -- regardless of the decision we make. We knew our loved one like no other. The hardest part of this whole nightmare for all of us is when they leave us. Gone. Shock. Emptiness. Life becomes a series of motions. And in a galaxy far, far away, we begin the monumental task of rebuilding first ourselves, and then our life from the ruins. One baby step at a time, here a little, there a little. Know that everyone of us is here for you. Not a one of us has to ever be alone because we have each other. We may be damaged goods now, but we get it. Sadly, no one else can get it unless they've gone through it themselves. ~~~ Scottie

Thanks to all who shared with me
It was a really hard night for me last night, I kept feeling as tho I was making a serious
mistake. But reading some of
the post. I realized I was really gonna help my wife in
a way no one else could
possibly realize. The thoughts of sadness are overwhelming at times because I am doing this
all by myself all of the family
is spread out all over the country. They send support
via phone. I am so glad I found this sight, I've only
joined 2 days ago and the sharing has helped a lot
I'm not saying I am handling
my sadness well I'm just saying hearing all the shares
and sharing will make the road to peace a little more
easier to achieve
Thank you all

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife.

Hi my name is Mary and I am so sorry for you troubles. I was in the same position a year ago. My husband had heart disease plus other issues. They preformed hear surgery,before the surgery that's
the last time I talked to him. He was on life support for 17 days and the doctors were the ones that finally said there was nothing else they could do and I had to let him go. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life,but you will know it will be best for her when they tell you. God and your family and friends will help you get through this. I pray for you both.

Steve, I feel your pain. As Bill said above, sometimes that's what we need to hold onto, just the thought of meeting our love on the other side. God be with you and your wife.
Shari

I felt your pain too Steve. I was in the situation where the decision was made for me, and there was not a thing I could do to change the outcome. Still knowing all that didn't make it easier to make the decision to let go.

It is getting harder each passing day I went to visit my wife. When seeing her I started regretting my DNR
decision but after seeing her
in the shape she is in ( on a respirator massive meds pumped through her body)
I know in my heart this was something she would not want.
Now a new dilemma has popped up The drs. Are talking about final transition
I couldn't talk about it.
Her daughter is coming here
From Washington state and she was not happy with my DNR decision. I hope that seeing her mom in her condition she will get the true facts of her status
My biggest concern is that when that time comes she will understand and not hate me

I know it is not easy to think about as I had to make the decision to let my sweet gary go as well. If it were up to me I would have been selfish and keep him here with me but I made the decision to let him become an angel. It was what he wanted as we talked about it. I know it will be hard but think about what she would want. May god be with you. Hugs. Dianna

My prayer for you is that when daughter arrives and sees her Mother's condition and talks to the doctors that the two of you will be of great support for each other and you will not be alone through this.