Thank you Debbie lu
My wife's name is Debbie

Oh my goodness, Steve, my heart goes out to you. A DNR simply means that they will not start CPR if her heart and respirations stop. I am a nurse and I can tell you from years of experience that CPR is not a miracle. Oh, it can be...............if a healthy ten year old is pulled out from the bottom of a swimming pool and they manage to resuscitate him, yes, it's a wonderful miracle. But for someone who is terminally ill and on a respirator? That's a completely different story.

What a lot of people do not realize is that CPR is very forceful..............most likely, you will break the patient's ribs by performing CPR. It is not up to me to tell people what to do, but if a person is already dying, do we want to bring them back so they can suffer some more, with bruised and broken ribs?

The decision that you made was a loving, unselfish one. I hope and pray that her daughter will see her mother and understand the facts.

Sylvia

So sorry you have to go through this, I had to make a similar decision a year ago, my husband had been in the hospital 2 weeks before they found that he had a very large tumor on his kidney which had cancer cells, he had not been eating and was very weak, so weak that although they could have tried to remove it by surgery, it was doubtful he would have survived. He had many other health issues which also made it complicated, he suffered a traumatic brain injury in 2004, which affected his memory and cognitive abilities, he also had atrial fib, a pacemaker, 6 stents and a suprapubic cathether which caused him to get UTI's on a regular basis. It was a very difficult decision to make in regards to whether or not he should get the surgery, the decision was pretty much all mine to make since he was just so weak all he wanted to do was come home. I just didn't want to put him through anymore than he had already gone through. His son left it up to me since I was his sole caretaker for the last 12 years of his life. I made the decision to bring him home under hospice, knowing that he probably would never recover, although I kept hoping, if I could get him to start eating, he may have a chance. He lived 2 weeks after he came home, he did not eat or drink hardly at all, when I tried to feed him, he would hide the food on the side of his mouth and spit it out when I wasn't looking, I bought him all of his favorite foods, hoping that he would start eating again and then maybe get strong enough to have surgery. He just continued to get weaker and weaker, the last week he was sleeping most of the time, so weak he could barely talk anymore but still aware. I had to watch him slowly die, I saw him take his last breath. We were married 35 years, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do, he was my soulmate and my best friend, I only got through it with God's strength which He continues to provide when I look to Him for it. It has been a year now, I still miss him everyday but I find hope in knowing that he is no longer suffering, as he had the last few years of his life, and in that I will be reunited with him again someday, and it is that hope that although still very difficult to go through, makes it easier to bear. My prayers are with you, I know it is a difficult journey but there is light at the end of the tunnel, God will get you through it, just keep looking to Him as your source for your peace of mind, strength and guidance.

Today the dr ordered a scan of my wife's head they seem to believe she might of had a stroke and not responding
With all the other things happening the time is closing in on final measures
Not liking this feeling at all

So sorry Steve you are having to go through this. I hope the daughter is there with you. I had to put my husband on DNR, have his feeding tube removed and his fluids stopped. There was this peace that came over me that helped me make that final decision. Only you will know what you have to do and when. Prayers are with you and your wife. Hugs.

Hi Steve-I understand, I just had to say goodbye to my husband of 19 years on Thursday night & im still in shock... he was in a bad accident & was in icu on life support for 5 days. Signing the do not recussitate was a horrible decision to have to make.... and saying goodbye will be forever etched in my mind. It has been 3 days since his death & im still numb... I wish you strength in this horrible horrible time of your life.....

Oh God, the memories! Just a few months ago, I was in your position. Agreeing to the DNR was the hardest thing I ever had to do. But it was the right thing. My wife had been through so much pain already fighting her disease, she didn't deserve to suffer more. No matter how hard it is, remember she trusts you to do what is right for her because she can't make those decisions herself any longer. Her daughter will understand, even if it takes her time to do so. Sending all the strength I can your way from someone who has been there.

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days
My wife was responding to commands briefly. Mostly eye responses. The dr was
saying it was a good sign
until tonight. He felt that she should respond more frequently. He ordered an eeg for tomorrow to see if she is having an issue there
I am really scared because
if it is a bad report. I know
It is gonna be time to let go.
I love her so much but I could never picture her in a vegetative state and I know she wouldn't either.
It's really getting to me
I find myself not wanting to wake up. I know tomorrow will come. I'm just not looking forward to it

Im so sorry you have to go through this Steve...hang in there....you and your wife are in my prayers. Hugs..

Steve, Once my children arrived and saw for themselves they knew their Dad had to leave us. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May the Love of God be with you all. My Deepest Sympathy. Dolores

I found out today by the dr
My wife has no chance of
survival
It's time
Just not today

Know that as you go through what many of us here have experienced you are not alone. Come here for comfort and support. God Bless you and your wife.

I was in your place over a year ago my husband had COPD I did not let him be resuscitate that is not what he would want. You are in my prayers. I can feel your pain you are not alone

My wife will be leaving me at sunrise Thursday morning
The eeg showed no activity
Been crying all day. I just can't see her suffer any more.
I will do the suffering for her
My heart hurts, her kids have all returned to their homes, I am alone for the most of time. I do have my cat which my wife adored.Im not sure
how I will handle it. Right now not to good.Id like to direct the rest of my post to still in shock.I am so sorry for your loss it being such a short time maybe you and I can go through this together
Sometimes total strangers
with similar situations can help each other in a huge way. If not continue to come back and share good shares and people here. They helped me get to my dilemma leading to where I am now.I don't know how to set up friends or other stuff
I'm sure someone here can help
May you reach peace

I am so sorry for you Steve. My prayers are with you and Debbie.