I'm so very sorry for your loss and I understand exactly what you are going through. I lost my husband of right at 40 years on New Year's Day 2011. You can't even describe the loneliness until you've experienced it. I'm glad you have your children there with you--it does help. Three of our four children live here close to me and that's been a tremendous blessing. My husband and I were very close also--I was 14 when we met--and we had a long and happy marriage--we also did everything together--from grocery shopping to road trips--we were together. I know the pain you are going through and I know the next weeks and months will be difficult and heartrending--cling to the happy memories. I'm glad you have found solace in a church she found--it will keep her memory near you as you participate and worship. I'm also glad you found this site--there are many many people here who understand exactly what you are going through. There is always someone here no matter what time of day or night.
Yes, we will see them again--we can look forward to that glorious reunion someday--in the meantime we just keep on making the best of it and trying to do the best we can--to go on with life as they would want us to--to find that day when we can feel joy again--when the memories bring smiles and happiness rather than tears. My prayers are with you
Warm hugs

Wanda

Hi Jeff,
I'm sorry for your loss.
Welcome but, as others told me, sorry it has to be on a site that we never wanted to join. I lost my husband on June 24, 2012. From lung cancer. We were married for 43 years.
I understand what you are going thru & I am sad someone else has to go thru this lonliness. It has been 3 months for me and I still miss him everyday. Like you, we did everything together. It does help to share with others, the grief we are expierencing & what we are going thru. I have family too but they have not lost their partner & confidant. I feel like my heart has been torn in half. Sort of numb to the world going on around me.
It does get better & there are some good days ahead. I spend lots of time with my children & grandson. Hang in there and come on here and talk or vent when you need too.
Lu

Jeff,
I am so sorry for your loss. My Charlie passed away on April 9 of this year. We had been married for 45 years. We have no children and were always together, too.

I know we will be together again, but in the meantime I feel him all around me.

This site has been a life saver for me. Writing about Charlie and our love has kept me sane. Come here often and tell us what you are feeling. You can say anything here and we will understand.

Julie

I seem to be the one who throws fuel on the fire but I want you to know what to expect from this horrid grief journey. Not everyone has the same experience, but we all do suffer the emotional pain of feeling like we've been hit with 300,000 volts of electricity and that is the way our body reacts to the shock of our loss. We must breathe - amazing that something that was so involuntarily done becomes something we actually have to THINK about doing. It's best to take deep breaths, if possible, although I know that sometimes we find it difficult to intake at all. Secondly, we must eat (small bites work, as long as we take some sort of nourishment). Thirdly, we must rest (not always able to actually sleep, but we do need to rest).

You are early on in your grief, so I'm guessing you're still in the numb state. Get ready! Shortly, that numbness will wear off and you're going to feel like you've been body-slammed by Arnold Schwarzenegger, running at full speed. It usually comes out of the blue. This phase usually continues off and on for months. I'm not trying to be cruel, here, but I want to warn you about these attacks, because when they struck me, I didn't know what to think and thought I was going insane. There isn't much you can do when they hit, except go with the pain and COME ONTO THIS SITE for help. We have all been through it and some of us are still going through it. Just share your agony with us, cry, scream, throw things (nothing sharp, please :) ) whatever you need to do to get away from the searing and burning that you're suffering. WE UNDERSTAND and, for most of us, this is the only place you will be able to come where everyone DOES understand.

I cannot leave you with such a negative taste in your mouth, however. There IS hope out of this pit of despair - it just comes in baby steps. One day, you'll start to feel a little bit better. Several days eventually will pass, wherein you may cry a little, but you haven't been slammed to your knees. Another day may find you back in the pit. It's a horrible rollercoaster ride...but with all of us pulling for each other here, we will ALL make it to the end of the ride and out of that wretched pit.

Welcome to our sad circle.

Hugs,
Terry

Jeff,
I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. I lost my husband on April 23, 2012 to lung cancer. I am glad that you found this site, as others have said it has been my life line. My son and grand-daughter also live with me now. It is a blessing to not have to come home to an empty house. My husband and I married later in life so next Monday would have been our 10th wedding anniversary. He was my best friend.
Come here often. Sometimes just reading if you can't post helps.
I hope you find peace
Cathy

So sorry for you lost I was married to my husband 38yrs when he passed Nov.2011 . Never seems to be enough time together,go to church I know I pray alot and this does help but let your heart greive. People seem to want us to move on and we cant till we are ready. Praying for you sorry you had to be here. Great place to come .

Thank you all very much. I appreciate your sympathy and words of support. I think I will be here often.

Jeff,
My heart goes out to you. It sounds as if you and your wife had a wonderful loving relationship, and you are so lucky to have had her for so long. I lost my dear husband in March 2010 to renal cancer after 27 years together. I was so sure that he was going to beat it and was devastated when that did not happen. I simply refused to believe that I was going to have to live without him. It seems as if God had other plans. My life is so different now, and I still yearn for my old life. The 27 years together was not nearly long enough; but as I was reminded by a friend, I was one of the lucky ones to have found true love; and that does not happen to everyone. This is not an easy trip; you are early in your grief, and it does take lots of time. One thing that really helped me was attending a weekly grief group for widows and widowers. Maybe you could find one in your area. It truly helps to know you are not alone with your feelings. This DS group helps as well since you can come on this site at any time and know you are not alone. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Roxanne

Hi Jeff, I'm here a little longer than some. I found this site in 2007 shortly after losing my husband of forty years to lung cancer. I suffered through the stages of grief like others here. Through this site and the wonderful friends I found here I healed. I want to say how sorry I am for your loss. Your love for her shows through your words. That is something that you will cherrish for the future. I am here for you and look forward to knowing more about you. Sharon

So sorry for your loss. I lost my husband on July 23, 2012, he was the love of my life. This site has been such a help to me. They understand how I am feeling and what I am thinking. It's a great place when you are going through such a hard time. Marilyn

Hi Jeff,
Your story touched my heart. My husband of 30 years died suddenly on April 5. Sadly, ours was not a marriage made in heaven, and I am doubly sorry for the many wonderful people here who have lost the loves of their life, best friends and soul mates. Their pain is clearly excruciating, but I am also a little envious of the beautiful memories you have of the time you and your loved ones shared.
I am so glad you found this site early on. It is absolutely the right place to be. That you are attending the church chosen by your wife is a beautiful tribute to her. I know you find great comfort and healing there.
Come to DS often. It won't change what happened, but it will make a difference in your life.
Wishing you peace and acceptance.
Juanita

We here share your feelings of deep sorrow, and reach out to help you when it all just seems too much to handle. Be gentle with yourself, above all, do NOT try to be stong - you need to work through your grief step by step and at your own pace...Then your healing can begin.((SOFT HUGS))

Jeff,
I would also like to welcome you to this wonderful source of strength and support and friendship!!
This group helped me get through the roughest period of the grief journey after my sweet husband, Bob, went home to Heaven on July 5, 2010.
I remember sitting at my computer during ALL hours of the night, when sleep was very elusive!! And the DS friends have always been so special and can totally relate to the very same feelings I was experiencing.

I wish you peace and God's blessings!
Linda

Hello Jeff: I'm so sorry for your loss; it is profound isn't it? I am glad that you found this site though. Please come here as often as you need to. Be gentle and kind to yourself now. It does get better, one day, one step at a time. This time will feel like a roller coaster some days, and that's ok. Acknowledge and respect your feelings, they are normal and may run gaumet from deep sadness to raging anger. All of us here understand where you are now. We've all been there. We are all at different milestones on this twisting, turning path called grief that none of us ever wanted to walk. We're here for you 24-7. Take care & Blessings. sharon

Thanks again everyone, I really appreciate the support. It was hard yesterday because I brought Donna's ashes home from the funeral home. I never thought she would be coming home this way. It was a very low low, but I will survive. The worst part was her last 27 days was under a ventilator and sedation and I couldn't talk to her.