Hi everyone. I have been reading your posts for a few days and words cannot convey the sense of loss and also of connection that I share with you. My husband of 30 years died suddenly ten days ago. I found him when I got home from work. It was an apparent heart attack altho he had no history, and the medical examiner assured me the end was quick. Unlike so many of you, I was not blessed with a "marriage made in heaven" to the "love of my life". It was companionable and stable. I cannot begin to understand the additional layers and depths of pain and sadness so many of you are experiencing having lost a spouse who was a true soul mate. I hope that I will be welcome here even though my story might not seem as emotionally charged as some of yours. But loss is loss, and I feel it at my own level. I miss my husband's presence and knowledge that he was here when I needed him. Since his passing I'm walking more carefully so I don't trip on a rug edge and fall...and taking my many vitamins 2 at a time instead of 5 or 6 so I don't choke. Will probably get a "Help, I've fallen....." gadgets. I'm 71. The feeling of being alone in the house is unnerving. Lloyd handled our finances as well as those of my 91-year-old mother who lives on the first floor of our home. A lifelong banker until his retirement four years ago, he was on top of all the "business" aspects of our lives, and he did this very well. Like many new widows I am overwhelmed by the things that need to be done to close the final chapter of his life. Next week I'm sure my head will explode after meetings with our lawyer, accountant and financial adviser. I'm sorry this post has taken on aspects of War and Peace in length, so I will close now and look forward to hearing from you.