Wendy...Last year Christmas was only a little over 7 weeks from the time I lost my husband and it was very difficult. When it came to the tree I just had the grandkids put it up. I couldn't even hold the special ornaments that we had bought on our anniversary trips..that we went on every year. Each one has a special meaning to me. The place that we went and the memories of that year. So that is how I handled the tree...I also had dinner at my home but hardly remember it...I kept myself busy in the kitchen and tried to focus on that. This Christmas Eve I am going to my daughter's to spend the night and then we are coming back to my house and I will cook dinner for everyone...focus on the happy times and Christmas with your husband and all good things in your life...Hugs Ellen

right here beside you. On the 10th it will be 7 months for me. Don't know how we get through this holiday. I am trying best I can. Working on childrens show at church. But have to walk away a lot because hubby always helped get it all together. Think there will be a lot of Rudolph's out here. I have not even started with decorations or tree.
hugs,
Cie

Wendy I'm right there with you an old saying Remember the reason for the season is what I'm hanging on to. Dave

Wendy,
I am trying to see Christmas through the eyes of the grandbabies. They "decorated" the tree and their mom and I helped. I am just grateful that little Alex and Drew will be staying with me and I just want it to be over. December 23rd last year we received Jim's terminal diagnosis so it was hard too. We will make it......with our families and a lot of powder for our noses!!!
Hugs, Dianne

Wendy, this will be my third Christmas and I know how hard it is. I have continued to put up a tree for the grandchildren and cook. No other decorations. It is definitely scaled down from what it used to be. Hardly remember the first one either. Now I find some joy in my family and grandchildren but dread the season, cry some, and can't wait for it to be over. I try to remember the happier times but that's bitter/sweet. Everyone has to do what feels right for them and don't take on what you don't feel comfortable with. Take care, Sandra

I too am having a complete Christmas meltdown, and I was so glad to read others commenting on theirs. I'm in my fifth month now on going it alone and man am I having the time of it. I feel like I just want to crawl into some hole and Die. I can't stand hearing the xmas carols blaring from the Radio and TV, go to the stores, drive down the streets to see the homes all lit up. I try to be cheerful for my children and Grand Children but am not doing a good job of it. I hear about how the first year is the hardest and that's the only thing that keeps me going, the thought of it will get better. Hugs to all others going through the same thing.
John.

I had a meltdown that first year but every year it gets more tolerable. I must confess I have bought a lot of new decorations and a different tree and gave a lot of ours to our children it just made things easier to deal with.

My first Christmas without him was just 3 weeks after he died, and I was on "autopilot" the whole holiday season, putting up the tree, sending out cards, etc. in order to keep things "normal". Then Christmas Eve I came home from my daughter's and had the meltdown alone in front of the tree. It does get better with each year - this will be my 3rd, but I think the key is not to try too hard to duplicate the holiday the way it was with your spouse. Do make plans, but make changes that will make things easier for you, and don't feel that you have to fake things to the point where it drags you down. Good luck! laurabp

This will be the first Christmas without Mike. I think some of us will be faking it. Got to do something for my kids, but want them to have a different experience this year. Some of them are of an age where they can understand giving and not getting something material in return. I want to give them a real Christmas. Maybe that will help fill some of the void.

Maggie

It's been 9 months for me as well. I thought I had everything under control until the last week or two. Since then, I've been more and more emotional each day. Cry at the drop of a hat. Over sensitive. Over react to everything. Absolutely miserable! I can't wait until this season is over.

This is my second Christmas without my husband. It seems harder this year. I think last year, my kids did alot of the decorating, to save me from doing it. This year I'm on my own, and I'm finding it hard to get motivated. I'm going to try and get the tree up tomorrow. I bought a smaller one, that I hope I can handle better than the 7.5 foot I have in the garage. If it wasn't for the grandkids, I don't think I would put a tree up.
Paula

I'm Thought I was doing well, even got a small tree up. And now I find that I am in bed unless I have a good reason to get up. I would just as soon skip the season completely.

No kids at home, no tree, no decorations, no joy, no celebration. Just the shortest day of the year and the longest night.
Christmas is a persecution of the lonely, the bereaved, and the abandoned.

Ken

It will be 2 months and 15 days since Al left, and the children and I had a meeting last night to try to think up a different tradition for our Christmas this year and for future years. We decided to each pool in $5 each, and at my son-in-laws school where he teaches they have an angel tree. We will be able to provide something for 10 children, as their limit is 10.00, This will be done in Al's name. He loved children so much. (in fact, just last year, he talked about adopting more children. Needless to say,I was not into that)My son and grands put the Christmas tree up. It's beautiful and Al would love it. I don't know how I'll hold up on Christmas Eve and Christmas, but I'm going to try to make it ok for the kids....Barb

Ken, your remarks just broke my heart. You sound like you are without hope. I didn't want to admit there was anything left in life worth living for. But slowly I started allowing myself to listen to nice music (spiritual), visiting with a friend or two, getting out in the yard and admiring the sunrise and sunsets that are so beautiful. I prefer to be alone most of the time because it helps me process my feelings and grief. There are a lot of nice people out there who would enjoy your company. I hope you could find a Grief Support group in your town, and also visit a church of your choice. I am volunteering for the charity Christmas Connection in our town. I love putting together gift packages and delivering them to people who have next to nothing. They are SO grateful. It makes me happy to help others who are worse off than me. I will pray that you can take a step out into the world and find some small joys. I am very sorry for your heartbreak.