diamorrow, I'm so, so sorry for the loss of your dear husband, love of your life and best friend. I know how badly it hurts, I know how sad, lost and alone you're feeling!

Life will NEVER be the same for you, I know. It's a nightmare and doesn't feel real. I know, we all know, we're ALL here for you and have walked the path, either before or with you.

There are mounds of things for you to do and get done in the next few days and months. Don't try to do it all at once, like I did. It's too much......write down what you need to do each day and attack each thing, one-at-a-time.

Let people help you, if they offer, if not, do what needs to be done first and go from there!

You MUST eat, sleep and cry. It's all important for YOUR well being!

I wish you peaceful days ahead and don't be afraid to cry and remember the wonderful times that you both shared. Especially, your love for each other! You were so lucky to have had that love!

Roz

I'm sorry diamorrow, that had to be awful to lose him during a surgery that sounds as though it should have been routine. The courage, determination and resiliency of the people here are flat out amazing to me. I spend many hours reading these threads and like you say, want to hang out with folks who get it.

oh my dear, I'm so sorry for the sudden unexpected loss, I think that is harder sometimes than after long illness :'(

It's been 7 1/2 months since my wife of 25 years died. I cried for a week straight, our daughter said she only saw me cry once or twice in her life. I sat shiva (Jewish week of mourning) alone in our apartment, and my heart felt physically broken. Then I had vivid dreams in which I was talking with her, nothing special, just mundane conversations. I woke up and looked for her and remembered...

Things sort of went back to normal after a month. I went to work and did things I had to do. A friend needed extra $ so I hired her to help me sort through Arlene's clothes so I can donate the good stuff, and she helps me clean, and does laundry and runs errands.

Everywhere we used to go together in the neighborhood, nice people still ask me how I'm doing? I tell them "thank you, I am ok."

I'm also avoiding dealing with a $562,000 bill from the hospital, my wife was uninsured. They said Charity Care might cover it, but I doubt it will be possible with my income. I am preparing myself for the possibility of having to declare bankruptcy. I have a year to apply, time is slipping away, and I am having trouble returning to the hospital where she died.

Then in September my best friend's health deteriorated rapidly and he died. I sort of thought that was what you meant by "and my best friend" - Mario and I were so close, and when Arlene got jealous and told me, "I'm your wife" I answered, "But Mario is my second wife." I had to act as next of kin, and I had help from his caseworker making a lot of the arrangements.

I tend to write a lot, I'm sorry, you need some quiet healing, just remember we're here when you need us ()

So sorry for the loss of your husband. I was married 17 years and lost my hubby on 12/17/14 from an 18 month battle with leukemia. Some days it still doesn't feel real and I expect him to walk in from work. Use whatever support you have. I have 3 daughters that keep me very busy and lots of girlfriends. I find getting together with my friends often really helps. I am also thinking of joining a group if I can actually find one to fit into my schedule. Another school mom lost her husband 6 weeks after me from brain cancer and it is really helpful talking to her.

Firstly, I am so sorry for your loss. When it's sudden like yours I think it makes it that much harder. I don't know if it is of any comfort to say we've all been where you are now. Just know you are not alone even if you don't have kids or siblings. We're all here for you. Just focus on today. Make a list of the things that need to get done and then set yourself a target of trying to accomplish one a day. Sadly, it all takes time but talking to others here you'll see that eventually we do make it to the other side. Be kind to yourself and lean on us. Big hug, Liz.

I am so sorry for your loss. I promise, it will get easier. Its been 2 years or me. Please take care of yourself first. Do what needs to be done. Don't overwhelm yourself with what can wait. Eat Drink and get plenty of rest. You are in shock. Hugs and prayers... Sandee

I am so sorry for your loss!

Diamorrow - I'm so sorry. You're in a good place here - we've all gone through exactly what you're describing. Be kind to yourself - you've gone through an emotional trauma that's no less severe than a physical one. The legal stuff will get done in its own time (like at a snail's pace). Stay here with us and share - Marsha

Thanks everyone. Today was particularly hard. It was the day of our club flea market and we have been running it for about 5 years. The fellows wore a name tag that said "this one is for Don"...I cried and cried....it was just not right for him to not be there looking for treasures to purchase. I am so lost and empty and miss him so badly. I ache for the life we had and the love we shared...

Sorry to hear of your loss. My wife died 2/19 and I'm in the same boat.

I am so sorry for your loss...this is the club that none of us want to be in ...big hug for you

I got up wanting to go to our church but I just dont think I am ready yet. I cant sit there and remember all the things we did together and not cry....just cant do it.
So no clue what I will do today. It is totally empty and that scares me. Being here all alone is no good either. what a mess...

I just can not work on thank you cards for the flowers and donations to our church. Is there a rule on how long I can put this off without offending folks???

Hi diamorrow...I lost my husband, best friend, just the love of my life on 1/16/15 after a 15 month battle with cancer. I also know the pain you are feeling now. I cannot stop the tears no matter what I do....cannot get moving to do anything. Helpless, lost, worried, scared are a daily part of my existence.
I miss him so much the pain is so real. people still with their partners say it will get better.....how do they know? They still have their husband or wife. We had been married almost 40 yeas, but together 42 and I am only 63 years old. I don't know who to move forward without him.
In the last 3 years I lost my Mom, 7 months later my dad and 7 months after that my husband was diagnosed with cancer......I have been grieving for so long I don't know when it will stop....can it stop?
Hugs to you , big long hugs.

mat we are so young to be widows. I am only 60 and have no clue what do expect going forward.....he was the love of my life...
How does this happen???