Dear lost, I totally understand how you feel. I, too, am lost. I see no meaning to life anymore...there is no joy without my love. My husband died 2 weeks and 3 days ago. I cry all the time. I feel numb, except for the pain of his loss. All I want is for him to come back or pray that God will let me go to him.

Dear lost. I too understand the pain you feel. I feel that same pain. I lost my husband nearly 3 years ago and I feel no better than I did 3 years ago. I am so thankful for the time we had together and the memories. I tell myself that I am blessed to have had him in my life as long as I did. But I still feel lost. I just wish I could find friendship now. I wish I had someone to laugh with and have lunch with. The few men I've met only want to hop into bed with me. None understands that we are alone not by choice. They look at it as a divorce. We were left in the middle of love. I feel so invisible. I just pray a lot and hope that this isn't all there is left of my life. My children have been supportive but they can't fill the hole in my heart. I don't let on how I really feel inside. May God bless you and ease your suffering.

Jenny,
Women cry all the time, home, and public or wherever. It's new to me to just sit there and cry. I really can't do it in front of anyone because guys just don't do that. It'll hit me at work, grocery store and even places like when I'm on my boat with my kids and friends. I just grit my teeth, take deep breath's and indiscreetly wipe my tears away. Just eight weeks for me now and it's just not getting any easier. Like you, I'm just basically on auto pilot. I will be where you're at in seven months, I just can't imagine going through this that long. Thinking of you, Dave

i forgot that im not the only one,that damn grocery store muzak. i live accross from the beach we went almost every day, cant bring myself to go over. even stupid commercials can cause a meltdown

In two weeks it will be a year since my love left me and I'm still on autopilot. Everyone is different, moves at their own pace. Camp widow helped me a lot.

I'm so sorry but this is how it is love. You're pretty much crazy for the first couple of years but then you realise that you have to get on with your life without them. I still feel the gut wrenching pain every single day because my beautiful husband is not here with me. He died nearly four years ago now but I go to work which helps. I am involved in my kids lives which helps. I am so sorry for your sadness and mine also. I still haven't been able to get rid of his stuff which is a real worry.

nebby, I am so sorry for your loss, and my heart goes to you. I am glad that you have found this site because you have found a boatload of people who understand exactly how you feel. You are not alone. I have been seeing a therapist for over a year to help deal with my grief; however, my situation is a little different in that I have had multiple family losses since my husband so I hesitate to mention how long since my husband's death. I know there are some on here that can be so much more encouraging and helpful. Just know you are among a group that can a great support as you work your way through your grief. There is no timeline as it is different for everyone, but it does help to know that you have a place that you can go, day or night, to be among those who understand and care. Roxanne

Guess what ? Men cry as much as women do, they just hide it better. My husband was a crier, commercials would make him cry. I was the only one who really knew that side of him, to everyone else he was a man's man. I on the other hand have always been the opposite. But not anymore. I could be sitting at a stop light not really thinking of anything and the tears will start flowing. Last week in line at the grocery store, the cashier didn't know what to do. Just let it out, who cares if your kids see you. If they see no emotion they think your doing fine and won't think of reaching out to you. You have spent 47 years with you wife, the hurt from losing her will not stop in 1 year. Everyday you wake up is one more day you get through it but there is no magic number of days or months or years when the pain goes away. In time it will just hurt less. God luck, stay strong.

Nebby, my husband of 50 years passed away suddenly in his sleep, two years ago without any warning and I found him. I think what I miss the most is my best friend and lover. our morning talks over coffee and what we're going do for the day, the simple things. He could build anything and we enjoyed doing projects on our house, even though we would argue over it at times..;). I still have bad days but just not as often. I have good family support but, I try not to bother them to much because they have their jobs and families. This grief of losing our Loves is the most awful pain we will ever know. I call it a Heartectomy. You never truly heal you just learn too cope. I've had bad thoughts about how to end the pain and my kids have even asked me if I have and I tell them the truth. They say don't do anything crazy Mom, we love you and as my granddaughter said.."Just think grandma if you and grandpa hadn't got married none us would be here. Kind of put things in a new light.
I've had many signs from my skeptic that he's still around, as have my kids. Just watch for them.
Don't let anyone tell you, you should be over your loss in x amount of time.
It helped talking to my doctor after the first five months into this grief journey, I should have went sooner. She gave me something for anxiety which for me was the worst. I only took one when needed and no longer take anything.
I think for a lot us we feel guilty thinking we could have done something to save them. Please don't waste your time on that, guilt is such a useless emotion and it changes nothing. And regret is another, thinking about what was still to come if they were still here. I'm just grateful for the many years Dennis and I had together..We weren't always perfect, but we were perfect for each other.
Come here often Nebby, there are many wonderful people here willing to share and help you through your grief journey.
Peace and hugs..Gail

"We will have kinds of Love in our lives, but never the same Love Twice"..F. Scott Fitzgerald

I feel for All of You ........
Reading your stories , are telling me ,what Iam feeling is not so strange ......
Iam crying now Iam writing ,because everyone around you is saying ,Yes ,Life goes on .....
But they don"t know ,where we stand up with ,and what we go to bed with ....
I lost my Jose ,5 months ago ,and it hurts still so much ....
He was only 56 years old ,at in 6 weeks he was gone ...
I try to think like he did ,and I have a lot of conversations with him ,every ehere in the car ,at home ,at work ....
We worked also together .
This week is his Birthday ,on Thursday ,and mine is at coming Sunday ,but I wish this week to pass ..
God please help us ,give us strenght to go on ...
Thank You all for your support ,
Big Hug ,Miranda.

I feel worse with each passing day, I thought I should feel better as time goes on. I have a hard time seeing couples, especially our age walking together. Premature death is so hard. I think death is a little easier to accept when older.

Dear Lost, I know exactly how you feel. I lost my husband of 43 years about 14 months ago to cancer and I am wandering aimlessly thru this awful grief. I miss him so much, I still cry a lot and can't seem to find any purpose in my life anymore. I hate the silence and loneliness but can't imagine my life with anyone else. How do we find joy again is beyond me, making new friends is so very hard and the old friends don't seem to be around much anymore.
sitting here day after day trying to make myself do something normal is not getting any easier. I wish you and all of us peace and joy...but I can't promise we'll ever find it.