Some find comfort, some find pain. It may be more what they represent to you, the death of your spouse. Others are comforted just to know that others care and express their sense of loss also. It might be equally as painful had you not received any expressions of sympathy. The pain is still there, either way.

When my husband passed, I received a handwritten letter from his endocrinologist. They knew each other many years as my stepson was diabetic since age 5. In this letter to the family, the doctor stated that in his many years of practice, he had never met anyone as optimistic and cooperative as him. I thought it was so very nice of someone so busy to take the time to write such positive things, it meant so much to me. I have kept all the cards and letters like everyone else.

I just want to say that your feelings are not wrong--they are yours and quite understandable. It is OK. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Some people need others around them--some chose to be alone. What we all need most is to find peace and I am wishing it for you.

I don't like them either. Especially people that put them in my box at work! I am barely making it trying not to think about it and here comes another card. I know people are doing what they can but I don't like them either!

At the time they made me sad too. I put them away and saved them later when I read all the wonderful things people had written in them I was comforted by them..I occasionally revisit them.

At first when I received cards in the mail I did not read them. I also did not want to accept baskets or flowers. But one day I received a very unexpected card from a person the worked in the same place that I do. This person was a widow for 3 years. In the card she wrote a very beautiful message about widowhood and how it has changed her life. In the letter she told me that I have to live my life for me and that being widow is different for everyone. I cried, and cried after reading it . At that time it dawn on my to read the other cards. Most of them had beautiful letter about the love for my husband and my self.
My problem is to write thank you cards. Every time I try I break down. Someday I will send them not at this time.

I've been there and I feel just the opposite. It helped me with the grieving I've felt.