I remember often feeling I was married, yet my husband died. I guess we aren't alone with these feelings. It's okay to acknowledge your feelings..
I would say and I lost my husband in 2007 that I haven't changed my thoughts. I acknowledge the feelings I still talk to him too. Our spouse's love for us and the love we had for them will never leave my life. Sharon

It is normal to still feel married, especially so soon after your spouse dies. The dust hasn't even settled yet. and that happens on different timelines anyway.
All states of mind are normal during grief, even the most unhealthy things.
As far as remarrying goes, the same principle applies.
Losing a spouse to death feels extremely unnatural. doesn't matter that we know we will all die. It's still shocking to be left behind.
If everyone on earth had to read 3 pages of this forum, they'd be none the wiser. Until it happens to them.
You will be surprised at what you can survive.
I keep telling myself "Please don't test that thought" but inevitably, something new comes along.

I too lost my husband. He will be gone 4 months this Saturday. The loneliness can be unbearable, After being home alone 4 days I go to my son's house and stay a couple of days. I haven't found any support groups or meetup groups in my area - but would it really help. We were married 32 years, together 34 years. I would marry that man a hundred more times if I could, he was my better half. Yes dating seems too far in the distance, but I too don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. All we can do it take one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time. Best of luck to you, we will survive!!

my husband died in july....it is hard being alone, but i'm not looking for another partner anytime soon. we were married for 42 years, I always told him I was trying for 50 years. he did his best to live for our 42nd anniversary, he was sent home from the hospital in feb. to die, they couldn't do anymore for him. he told me one sunday that he didn't know how much fight he had left and was gone the next morning.

I can't count how many times I have said the same thing. "I don't want to be a widow." It is round two for me, so I really detest my position! Within a period of 7 years, in fact. I have also been divorced. I know plenty of "professional widows," and one has been that way for 10 years and the other for 21 years. I guess they resigned themselves to the status. (I don't believe they are as happy as they let on.) Unlike some, I no longer feel married, and I do refer to myself as single again, because technically, I am. I guess people think I am crazy for thinking about remarriage at some later time, because I remarried a year after losing my second husband. I think the problems arose from his end of the spectrum. He had only been a widower for 2 1/2 months, after having been married to his late wife for nearly 38 years. Looking back, I think he was more lonely and needy than in love, although he learned to love me or at least put up with me. It took a lot of work, prayer, adjustments, and willpower, not to mention relocating. What happens is you still have a lot on your plate to sort through, and then on top of that, you add to it whatever is on his plate, and if you aren't careful, you have more than you can deal with. My advice is just use wisdom and weigh it all out. I think a person knows if or when the time is right for a new relationship; there is always going to be a risk. And it is better to be single than married to the wrong person.

I too hate the word "widow", the moment you say it people look at you differently. It has been 8 months since my husband has passed and I still hate the label. I remember in the first few months having to fill out forms and having to check "single" but still worst having to check "widow". I myself do not feel married, I took off my ring right after he died because it didn't feel right. I am open to another relationship but the idea of even having another man be interested in me scares me. But I know I do not want to be alone, I enjoy being in a relationship. I just moved to a new town and have no friends, I think if I had a few it would be easier. I tried a couple of widow groups but they were full of as you say "professional widows" or women who cried the whole time. I guess I was just not made for that.

Thanks to all who replied. Shewearsblack17, I appreciate your honest story, thank you! Being a widow second time, wow, it must be really hard. "Third time a curse", as my friend would say, so let's hope you are done at two.
I envy your determination in removing the ring right after his death. My ring is still there. My husband's cremains are in the cupboard waiting to be scattered. I got rid of his clothes though, donated all of them as it was breaking my heart to see them. We were married for only a year, and he relocated 6,000 miles to be with me.
It is a well-known fact that for men losing a partner is harder than for women. They have a problem coping with loneliness, thus, they seek for a replacement quickly. My late husband, before he married me, had lost his partner of 9 years to cancer, and he was back on dating sites within a few months. I didn't blame him. As for me, I was a divorcee for 13 years before I met my last husband, and I thought "this time it will be for the rest of my life". Yeah, right.
Now after his is gone, I think about death a lot. Death in general, and my own mortality. Is it normal? Now I am acutely aware of the the fact that life is short, and we have to appreciate each day, each moment. My biggest fear is to die before I can afford to retire. Or to die right after and be devoid of enjoying it long enough.

I hear what you are saying. I never felt single either. I was half of a whole, not a different whole, if that makes sense. I loved being his other half and him being mine. I thought about death a lot too. For a while, I really thought God had made a mistake and taken the wrong half. As the years went by, I found a new way of being whole. It started with the faithful friends who prayed for me and would spend time with me. (I'm sure it wasn't that pleasant for them, but they were true friends.) As this new wholeness slowly developed, I realized it was initiated by God. I'll never forget the day I read a verse that said, "I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for good and not evil, plans to give you a hope and a future." I will be praying for you and your hope and future, whether it is with another husband or whatever it may hold. I will also ask for God to comfort you.

Thanks, cupolatte. I am not too religious, but I truly appreciate your prayers.

My husband has been gone 3 months. As far as I am concerned, we are still married. He has just went ahead of me into the next life. I don’t like being a widow and there are many times I am very lonely, but I will never marry or have a relationship with anyone else. I will wait until I see my husband again on the other side.

Everyone is different. Some will never remarry, and that is fine. Some will later find a new person to be happy with, and that is fine too. It's all an individual choice, considering the varied circumstances. Because I have been through this twice does not mean that I must resign myself to being a type of nun. If I find a special person, I am willing to give it my best. It's not going to hurt those departed, especially if they made it through the pearly gates. Just my opinion. I loved them both, but they are gone.

I already have gone through it twice..and still am learning to cope with them both. The love I have had ...:) I have to see it as a blessing. The memories..so by seeing yourself as having been blessed. Think of what you have now..this very second..health...people who love you etc...see yourself as having been blessed..it helps me ( Hugs)

My condolences to you babochka. I am in my 7 month of bereavement. I lost my husband to cancer. December 7 would have been our 16th wedding anniversary Yet together for 25 years. I am 45 years old. I spent most of my adult life with Peter and now I am a widow. I still feel married and I am not ready to take off my ring. I am still digesting his passing. I am still getting use to the word “widow.” It all seem so foreign. I learned that a widow still carries the title Mrs. You need all the prayers and hugs right now. God Bless!
Elizabeth

My 42 y.o. wife passed away 5 weeks ago. after 20 years married. I am not the blog or chat room writer but looking for answers came about this page. After reading almost all of it and relating to all of I have read. I came to the conclusion that I wish I was dead too, and the thought of maybe being so is the light at the end of the tunnel for this situation. I am a christian, if I wasn´t I would have joined her 4 weeks ago. Love never dies. People die, but the love for them never fails. Keeps the person alive forever. She is not gone she is with me more now than ever, because I was left with just the love for her. 1 Corinthian 13 says that love is not selfish and if she is in a better place with the Lord I should feel hapiness for her regardless of what I feel. Not always easy. Companionship? who can feel alone when the love left behind is in it´s perfect form, not blemished by the day to day hassle from the world and its vanities of vanities. First time I express what I feel. How the road is going to be that is left to see. I have seen some of the roads some of you have traveled already and I have nothing but admiration, not sure how mine is going to be. I will pray for all the people whose pain was shared here and that I read today, some made me cry, but a good cry, the kind of cry that heals a little bit. The bible says tha the Lord comforts us when we are in trouble, so that we can share that same comfort with others in trouble. God bless you all and thank you for taking the time to read me as I whine the loss of the love of my life and the reason I took every breath of air.