Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
My husband passed in March of 2010. We'd been living in an apartment at the time, but my father needed me(or so i thought), so I moved in with him. That was a disaster. Suddenly, I was back home where my husband and I had also lived for a time. The memories were killing me. It was like I had deleted my husband. I was tired and depressed and my father made it even more difficult by arguing all the time. So I moved out two months later and believe it or not, moved back to the same apartment complex I just left. It was a different unit, and two blocks away, but the same subdivision.
I lived there for a year and throughout that year I had problems accepting my husband's death. Everything reminded me of our life together and I started to wonder if I would ever fully recover. Then last month I moved into my own house and everything changed. It seems my mood has lifted and although I still think of him, it is more like a memory and not the pain I once felt. I don't know, maybe it's living somewhere entirely new--somewhere "Us" never existed. But the move seems to be helping a great deal.
So, is it me, or are there others out there that's noticed the same thing?
I lived there for a year and throughout that year I had problems accepting my husband's death. Everything reminded me of our life together and I started to wonder if I would ever fully recover. Then last month I moved into my own house and everything changed. It seems my mood has lifted and although I still think of him, it is more like a memory and not the pain I once felt. I don't know, maybe it's living somewhere entirely new--somewhere "Us" never existed. But the move seems to be helping a great deal.
So, is it me, or are there others out there that's noticed the same thing?
MissingFrank, I was told my SS that you can't collect until you are 60 unless you are disabled. If you're disabled you can collect at 50. At first I was scratching my head on this one, figuring that it made sense to be able to collect earlier. Then I looked at it from SS viewpoint: imagine some twenty year old marrying an old buzzard or cougar just to collect for the rest of his or her life? It would be catastrophic for the system which can barely pay now. Also I was told that my husband's age didn't matter. As long as he paid in to the system and I was 60, I could collect.
Of course collecting at 60 meant a reduced rate, but in my case I could collect his then when I turn 67, I could collect my own. I'll have to check on this issue again just to make sure.
SO Unfortunately I am hoping to sell my 5 acre/home this coming yr...I know where I plan on going is going to be a better opportunity for a pt time job.
I am collecting on my husbands ssi at age 61/ at age 62 or 65 I can collect on mine but the gal at SSI told me if I collected on my EX husbands I would get more....is that not a hoot...So when I turn 62 this April i will check all options out...