I am coming up on the 4th month since my husband died. I have been doing fairly well but today has been horrible. This morning, half way between sleep and being awake, I turned over and reached for Randy. I hadn't done this in about a month and it set off an entire day of tears. How I long for the day when I can just smile at happy memories and not cry.

Hi stottsp,
I am with you in grief. I lost my beloved June 14, 2018. We were in love for 30 years and hoping for more. Cancer got him. I have some good days, many not so good. I feel very lost and broken. My heart is shattered. I started grief counseling today. Reading books, etc. This site is very helpful. Knowing we are not alone in this process and being able to share is really comforting. Advice from those who have been processing longer than we have is very encouraging.
Thank you to everyone for sharing.