sweetpea, holidays are always tough, especially the first round (first year), and it's up to you and how you feel.
As for me, I made it a point to put up the tree and decorate the house - as always, as nothing sad had happened just 4 months ago... Otherwise I'd feel worse.
Please accept my sympathy with your loss. Listen to your feelings.

Hi sweetpea11, nope. No festivity in my house, either. Most of our ornaments were his from his childhood...so not only would it feel wrong to hang his ornaments without him, I would be bawling from start to finish. What's the point? I'm surrounded by him in our home and that would be just one more thing. No presents...except maybe some cash in cards for my nephews. I don't have the energy.

I just want to go to sleep now and wake up in a few years, hopefully not feeling this crushing grief.

My hubby died April 2016 - Last year I did nothing - I did not feel any joy at all. I have 2 kids (15 & 9) they watched me spiral downward through depression and major drub abuse... I tried everything i could to make their Christmas special... Nothing really worked. They smiled but I could tell - Hugs honey... with time it gets easier.

I have been able to buy presents for people. I got presents for each friend who was there for me at the hospital when my husband was there. I also bought presents for some of the friends who brought me food and visited me after he passed. Buying the gifts online has cheered me up. I can’t bring myself to put up the Christmas tree. My husband always brought it from the attic and put it together. I honestly don’t even know where he stroed it. I can,t bear to look for it....

I am not decorating for Christmas, I hung the angel ornament with my husbands name on it on the wall, that's pretty much it. My daughter wants to have Christmas dinner here, means I have to get the kitchen cleaned up. he will be truly missed this first Christmas without him

I am nearing my 3rd Christmas without my husband. The first year I was on autopilot as it was less than 3 months after he died. I did the usual things I would do but of course it isn't the same. Last year my first grandchild was almost 3 months old so I had something special to celebrate. This year she is almost 15 months and brings me so much joy. I wish my husband could be here with us and enjoy her but I know he watches over us and we show her his picture. She can say "pa" and we will teach her about him as she gets older. I try to stay in the moment as dwelling in the past and thinking about the future are painful. One day at a time. I've also found that the anticipation is almost always worse than the actual day. I hope you find a moment of joy admist the sadness. Marybeth

I'm so sorry. When you're grieving, the holidays are the worst. My husband died December 22, 2013, which made Christmas really tough. The only thing that made it worth celebrating for me was that my daughter gave birth to her second baby the very next day and came home from the hospital on Christmas morning. I was not up to cooking Christmas dinner as usual, so we kept it simple. The next year we started a new tradition. Chinese restaurants are open on holidays, so we went out to eat. Since then, we've had Chinese takeout for our Christmas dinner. It may help to do something different--start a new tradition. Last year we also did something different about gift-giving. My daughter made a large saran-wrap ball filled with small gifts like candy bars and we passed it around the table, unwrapping as much as possible in the time limit. These changes have helped me enjoy Christmas more in the absence of my dear husband, although I continue to attend the Christmas Eve service at church, which has always been very meaningful. I hope you have some family and/or friends, some loved ones, to be with, even if you don't follow your old traditions. God is still here and the meaning of Christmas becomes more special when you think about Heaven. You don't have the energy for elaborate celebrating, so choose just the things that mean the most to you, and try to savor them. Try to focus on the happy memories. It was wonderful to have my husband as long as I did,and I gratefully remember happy times. I also attended a griefshare support group, and it helped. There are groups all over the country, so you may find one near you too. I pray that you will find comfort and peace even at this time of year.

My first Christmas too, my husband passed away in August. i didn't even want to decorate at all but my children wanted to & bought a tree & we all decorated it but not like we would with my husband. I'm just really lost & don't know how to handle it

Holidays and special days of holidays or anniversaries are always difficult. My advice is doing what is best for you. Attend what you can or want and excuse yourself when you must. It's you time now, like having a nice illness and you are the most important person in your life. Wishing you well.

Thank you all for the wonderful advise! It makes me feel so much better than my feelings are ok and I am somewhat normal having these feelings. I wish you all the best Christmas you possibly can have with our loved ones this holiday season. Sending prayers to all of you.

I decided on no decorations this year. But I did get gifts for those who have helped me through this process and for my daughter whose 18 mons. Instead of celebrating christmas dinner. I decided to do a small breakfast between my parents and daughter in order for her not to miss out completely.

Wishing everyone strength during this time! I hope we can all make it.

**hugs**