So sorry for your loss and your pain. Everything your saying most of us on here have felt and still at times feel the same way. Our life has changed as the world continues turning. I feel some days as if I've lost step with the world. It does get easier or less bad with time....but that concept of time has even changed for me. Some days the losses feel close at hand and as hard and fresh as the first few months. All I can tell you is keep moving forward even when your mind and body....scream no...sit. Go out with friends, reach out to others on this board. Anything to keep your mind and body active while you grieve. You will still feel the same grief and sadness and loss but it does go easier with others to share your time with. Find new habits to replace old ones seems to help also. Wishing you luck and strength to bear this. Hugs

It does get better with time, however that takes time and with it only being 6 months it's still fresh/raw for you. It's coming up 18 months for me on the 23rd and there are still some days I look at his picture and cry like a baby.

It's also perfectly normal not to want to leave the house as I felt that way too, but I have a LO so I had to leave and run errands. There were days I didn't even want to shower as I just wanted to lay in bed all day curled in a ball and that too is normal.

We all grieve in our own way and whatever/however and how long it takes you is up to you. Sending big hugs!

This is your way of grieving. You are experiencing what many of us went thru & still do.
For me, I am walking @ the mall. It's too cold to be outside, this gets me out of the house. I can browse or not. I can eat or not. I can do errands or not. But, this gets my mind on other things, driving, counting how many laps I've walked, being around people but not having to interact if that's not something I wish to do.
A local hospital or church may sponsor support groups. It helps to listen, relate to others who have experienced the same loss.
It's a different life, a changing journey
Ups..Downs...
Challenges..
But tomorrow dawns with possibilities, find something positive in each day
Little steps...
Blessings
jdp

Little steps. The best advise i ever received..take small things and be proud of what you did.I need to remember that over and over again. Just want to be me again..the happy me.the normal me with him.He made my world..i used to say Hello my sun ,moon and stars..he would say Hello my whole Galaxy. That sums it up.Am living in a world without him.Shocking after 36 years..that i wanted to last forever.Its almost a year and i am just now going through panic attacks.Think it is a sign that i have to move forward in my life. Am not sure what it holds for me but i know i want to make it better then before he became terminal. The light will shine in between the cracks, and you will smile again.It takes time to learn to live without your whole Everything. ( Hugs )

I remember the 6 month mark in my journey. It felt like he was gone forever, yet it felt like yesterday. Only here people understand that feeling. There are many obstacles to overcome. Holidays, anniversaries, and those special memories we mourn for. These are the things that hurt forever and the things that helped us overcome. I'm sorry for your loss and the struggles you endure, we understand them well. You will always remember the past you shared, but it will become a blessing you cherish. Sharon

Just over three months for me. Had a really difficult day on Wednesday when it was our daughter's 40th birthday but we celebrated in the best way we could and I know Norm would've been smiling.
It does suck, losing the love of our lives, miss the chatter, the happy quiet, the decision making but will keep striving to bring honour to his memory. Baby steps and when the grief and tears strike just go with them

You are climbing a very high mountain right now. Some paths are easy and some paths may seem impossible, but you sound determined to get your emotions under control. I'm new too this too, but I can feel okay and then all of a sudden Bam! Something, someone, a song, a place, and then it all comes rushing back. Don't worry! You will reach the top of the mountain and look back at all of this and remember how you felt back then. There's no magic solution nor is there a time table. Just keep coming back and share your experiences, you can help us too!

I feel better just knowing I can come here and share my feelings with no judgement...seems to be a problem with some of my family members. It is so strange to one moment feel okay and the next be in tears. I get embarrassed when I am out in public like the grocery store and just all of a sudden the tears come. I guess I should just go with them. I probably don't owe anyone in the store an explanation. Right?

sorry to hear about that. getting out is tough at times, but i do any ways and seem my friends talk and laugh, that seems to help. loosing my mo then my dad 68 days later was the toughest. that was in 2013. i know they are watching over me and having a great life and health one. i have my bad days also. but have to pull though and live on. take care and try to enjoy your self while you can and be happy.

I feel exactly the same way. When I'm home I want to be out. When I'm out I want to be home.
Don't know how to deal with it either. Guess that's just part of the process.

All of you are a blessing. Amazed that somebody gets it.

I cry at random times as well and feel embarrassed too. Yes we don't owe anyone an explanation. At least we are feeling our feelings and not running away from them. Hugs to all!

Hi cmks253,
I'm so sorry for your loss and that you're in such pain. It has been just over 6 months for me as well, and I'm feeling pretty much the same as you. During the first couple of months I made sure I had plans to see friends/family every weekend, but now, even though there are times I want to be with people, the majority of time I feel like isolating and don't want to leave my apartment (and if it wasn't for my work, I probably wouldn't.) The reality that my husband is gone is still hitting me and I have crying jags often. I started grief therapy about a month after Matthew died, and have learned that this is par for the course. They say often the grief after six months or so worsens -- and it's true, at least for me. I've started going to a spousal loss support group and am hoping that will help. What it comes down to: I hate my life without my love.

I felt the same. Early on I knew I have to go out with friends and family. If I don't there may not be any more invites and I would be even more isolated. It took me 3 years to get out of much grief, now at times I would still feel the void in me.

I have just passed the six month mark and find that in some ways, it is better, but in others, it is worse. Someone (another widow) told me to beware of the six month mark because by then all of the shock and all of the brain's protective mechanisms have worn off and you are faced with the stark reality that they are not coming back.

I do believe it gets better but truly "better" takes years, not months. It's a long hard road.

Sylvia