I am so sorry for your loss. I recently loss my husband on June 16 from a freak tree accident. Thank heaven I found DS just this week and I am finding this very comforting. In time, it will get better. You have to grieve in your own way. I still cry at least two or three times a day when something I see that my husband did. Just take one foot at a time. Again, it will get easier as time passes, but you will never forget the love of your life.

Yes, it will get better. I promise. But first you have to courageously go through your "grief journey". It is different for all of us but always similar. Please come back to DS as many times a day as you want to and also check out some of the older posts. We all understand the pain you feel. Hugs!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you other than the sudden entry into widowhood. All of us have been where you are and even now at 7+ months I have days when I am not able to function as I think I should. It is all a part of the grief journey and each of us will travel it in our own unique way. Now is a time to try to take care of yourself. If you don't feel like eating, at least try to have a small meal and drink lots of water to keep hydrated. Most people don't realize how much fluid is lost through tears. Keeping up your health is very important. You have found a place here where you can come and cry or vent or just read and "listen". I really thought I was "crazy" when I first came here and was so relieved to find that I am "normal". Hugs coming your way

You are going through the hardest time of our life, probably. No one can possibly understand except those of us who have lost our spouses too. In the beginning I felt like I wasn't even on solid ground. It seemed like a kind of hell that I couldn't find the way out of. I completely disconnected with the world for a few weeks. The pain was the greatest I had ever felt. I got angry with God for awhile. I thought there would never be any joy in my life, ever again. The first day I could call "happy" was a day my son, DIL, and 4 yr old grandson drove to the beach for a day trip. I walked barefoot in the surf, holding the tiny hand of my grandson, who was ALL EXCITED about the beach. A feeling of peace and joy just overwhelmed me and I said to my Joe in heaven, "Honey, look at me. This is my first happy day since you died. I know now that I will recover from the deep pain little by little. Just watch over us and love us." That day was 6 months after Joe's death. Everyone's story is different, but that is mine. It does get better. Although we don't have that special, perfect mate to love and hug, we still have others whom we love and that provide us with joy. My heart goes out to you as I will always remember how deeply painful it is in the begining. May God bless you with healing.
Kathleen

I am crying right along with you right now. I am remembering that place. the devastation, the disbelief, and the deep hurt and anger.

My heart goes out to you. I lost my husband on February 4th, and I was there to hold his hand at the end as well. and yes, I still remember those feelings very well.

You were with him at the very end, and got to tell him you love him. In the months, and years to follow, that will give you comfort. It doesn't seem that way now I know. But it will. I'm coming up on six months now, and I have days where I can function, and I can think of him with a smile.

there will be many a day when you don't want to get up anymore, don't want to do ANYTHING. And that's ok. One day soon you will.

Please be kind to yourself, and please come here often. I found DS when I was about 2 weeks into this journey, and didn't know if I had one more day in me. It has been a lifeline to me.

My hopes that it will be to you also. the people here truly do CARE about what you are going through in every stage. And they truly UNDERSAND.

I am sincerely sorry for your loss, and I hope for healing in the future.

Welcome to DS, and so sorry you have to be here.

Diane

I am so sorry for your loss. My husband died on Feb.5 of this year. It will get better, I know I am better than I was 2 weeks into it. I stll cry everyday, somedays harder than others. I believe there is nothing wrong with crying, it will help you heal, when you are ready. I still cant believe how painful this is. I will be thinking of you and your family. Just do what you can do for yourself to help. Hugs and Prayers Denise

I am so very sorry for your loss. My husband died 3/28/11 as a result of bladder cancer. I understand the pain you felt watching and caring for him. I understand the terrible crushing grief & pain that hits you at the moment they have to leave. Nothing in the world can prepare you for it because nothing hurts or devastates you like this does.
I am told it does get better. I do know that it changes. Four months of traveling through this nightmare have resulted in me now being able to do a few small things that used to send me in to hours of desperate sobbing. Every part of me, inside & out, was filled with the most horrible paid I could have never imagined. I now can review legal documents, do the laundry and even a little house & garden work. I still can't do the back garden or sit on the patio be myself as we spent a lot of time there together.
I have learned to lean on others. If friends or neighbors offer help or an invite for dinner or a visit, I accept. I still feel disconnected with life and keep thinking I will wake up from this and Nick will be with me again. But, in four months the pain has at least changed. I am trusting the other wonderful ladies on DS who have been widowed for a longer time hat it does ease up.
We will never forget the wonderful person we loved and married but the grief we feel I think will become a bearable part of life.
My heart & best wishes are with you. Darlene

My husband too died of metastasized RCC in March 2011 in less than 6 months from diagnosis and surgery. Strangely, at a top hospital in the country, we were always given hope that he would achieve some "quality of life." He fought valiantly and endured extreme pain, but I could not grasp until his last few days that he was dying. Then, he and I decided to bring him home.

I now understand that he did not have a chance for that "quality of life" so glibbly mentioned by his oncologist since he was not eligible for the clinical trial or any drugs. The horrible disease progressed more rapidly than even his medical team could comprehend.

I was exhausted and numb for most of the first two months after his death. Then, I have lived far too many very bad days in the next two months. It seems to be getting better. There have been a couple of really good days this past week!

I discovered DS W&W in June and read the posts often. People at DS W&W truly understand. Also, I have found new friendships with two widows who separately reached out to me. They too understand.

Keep coming to DS W&W.

Hi..I am at 2 years and 3 months and yes I can tell you it is better. I have my days when I cry but the realization that he will never come back is here now. I loved my sweet husband with my whole heart and we were very close. Now it is the lonliness I feel more than anything. I have little rituals like lighting a candle for him at night, going to the cemetery on Sundays that help me to honor his life. I will never stop loving him but I am slowly making a life for myself. Yes I sometimes get depressed over all this but I try to remain as positive as I can. My Jim would want that for me. He was a wonderful man and I try to make him proud of me.

Oh Thank you so much everyone..I already feel comfort..I am so scared.....I know I have understanding friends here. Thank you all!

IIt will get better. I did not believe when people told me that almost 3 years ago.
Meantime, stay in touch, people here know what you are going through
You have our shoulders to cry.

Hug

Hello. I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. I lost my husband to pancreatic cancer last November. I still cry every day but not as much i did that first month. This journey is different for all of us. Go easy on yourself cry as much as you want. Little by little it does ease up.

Thank you all..I will certainly stay close...

So sorry for your loss. My husband died on 6/23/11 after a 10 year battle with kidney disease. Nothing anyone can do or say can prepare you for the path you now find yourself on. I'm sorry that you started this journey called widowhood, but DS is a good companion to have. You will find people here who understand your pain and give you encouragement and support. They will listen to you vent and really know what you mean. I'm sending you hugs. I know from all of the kindness that I have found here that it will get better someday and until then you have alot of support from everyone who is here. Hugs and blessings to you.

I am so sorry for your loss.

The short answer is yes, it does get better. I lost my wife a little over a year ago and while I still miss her all the time there are stretchs where it doesn't paralyze me. There is joy in my life again and I once again have hopes and plans.

It's a journey and the folks here will help you navigate your way.

Hugs.

-Pete-