Dear friend Julie...I do understand what you're saying, but you and I know that our beloved husbands are in that heavenly home where we will be reunited one day. There was only ONE man like my Eddie, and I accept that reality...there's no "clone" out there to replace him.

So I have to be thankful for the other good people in my life...family, friends, neighbors...or even the 4-legged companions who bring joy into our lives.
The feeling that you had when you first met your Charlie was a special sense of "knowing"...he was indeed meant to be yours. I had that instant feeling, too, when Eddie and I met 49 years ago.

Try to think of how blessed you were to have had Charlie during a long, happy marriage...savor those sweet memories. So many people around the world have never known even ONE day of such a loving relationship.
You're not alone, Julie, I know how you feel...keep the faith.
Many hugs,
Nancy

I am trying to understand how much my loving husband enriched my life. Having been loved by him I am a better person. There will never be another like him, but if I am very lucky I may someday be blessed with another, different loving relationship. If I am so blessed, I will be a better partner because of the wonderful love Dick showered me with.

Oh, yes, I remember the good times. I remember the yearning after he died, not for a new partner, but for the wonderful man I had lost. I met Don at a young age and he became my best friend. It turned fast into my boyfriend and grew into my husband. Acter celebrating our 40th Anniversary losing him was totally a loss of my life. Yes, I remember, there is no way I will ever forget. Sharon

Julie,

I know just what you mean. I only had Darrell for 13 years but when he came into my life, it was for keeps. (Had a few other tries at the marriage thing, prior to Darrell, but none worked out.)

I think all of us feel that longing for our spouses, but I know that in this Earthly world I will be forever denied any physical connection. He is with me on that other plane and is comforting me and encouraging me to do something...I can feel it and it makes me so very restless because I don't know what that "something" is.

If/when I find the "new me", I may find another male friend but I know that Darrell was the one and only true love of my life. And, because he taught me REAL love, that may allow me to be open to another, although I will always carry him in my heart because he is branded there.

You have just passed your 4-month mark. That's about the point I was when things got very rough for me. Hang in there...the roller coaster ride gets pretty crazy but we are all here for you. Know that things will calm down, shoot over the top and repeat over and over again; but there will come a point when you have more better days than worse ones.

In the meantime, try to find peace wherever you can and come to us here and vent, cry...you know the drill. :)

Hugs,

Terry

We were looking for the other part of our heart. We found it, you with Charlie and me with Gary. Two parts became a whole, a whole heart. Now once again part of our heart is missing. And just like a jigsaw puzzle not just any part will fit.
Hugs and love,
Polly

I wasn't looking for a mate when I found Steve-actually he found me. I was only 14 and still just a kid. The day we met though I knew that this one was unlike anyone I had ever met before. He was a bit older and said he knew from the moment we met that I was the one he had been searching for, longing for. He treated me with respect and showered me with affection--and spent the next few decades making sure I was happy and content and properly pampered and spoiled. We married when I was 18 and he passed just short of our 40th anniversary. I feel that yearning now--yearning for him to be back here with me--the loneliness is sometimes almost more than I can take--but it's a lonliness for him--a yearning for what was. I don't think anyone or anything else could ever fill that empty spot.

Sitting in the recliner Jim said to me shortly before we took him to the hospital.....I would do it all over again just the way it was. I hang onto those words because I know he meant them. I think some people like my Jim know they are dying and reflect on their life. I do it now that he is gone. I know he had those same feelings that I do now. The yearnings never end but the reality is it's over. Not everyone had a great marriage and those of us who did will yearn for the past and the wonderful husband we had forever. Hugs, Chris

Julie;

I understand what you say. In my heart I know there is no other - I knew when I first met Todd and I still know that today. We would be married for 20 years this coming November but were together for 26 years. I have been thinking lately "would I marry him again if I knew that the outcome would be this and this horrible grief" Without question, the answer is most definitely. yes. I know there is no replacement.

Your post reminded me of when we first met and when we discovered that we knew that we were meant to be - this brings a flood of beautiful warm memories of the love we shared.

May the memories of your Charlie fill you with that warmth today

I met Jeff when I was 15 and we married when I was 18. He was 11 years older than me. When Jeff first passed, just one month after we learned he had cancer, we had just celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. He was not only my husband, he was my very best friend (I often told people that these past few years, knowing how fortunate I was to have him).

I am now at one year. I miss my husband every day. While I couldn't imagine wanting anyone else, I am starting to realize I really don't want to be alone the rest of my days, either. My mom passed away in January. My dad is 80 and he hopes to find another companion sometime in the near future. He says God meant for us to have a companion. I just hope to have the patience and wisdom to know/see what God does have planned for me.

MJ

Julie....I started dating Larry when I was 15 married at 19.....I was too young to be looking for someone, but my older brother brought Larry home and we had an instant connection. He rocked my world and we loved each other so much. He passed away just before my 57th birthday in November 2010.

I feel this ache in my heart....that yearning you describe but I am not sure there is anyone that could ever fill that void. I know how you feel....I just want my Larry back. Hugs Lu Ann

I have the same feelings, I want my Ken but can't have him. What to do??? I don't even know how to connect anymore and don't know where to go to do it. The dating sites have left me cold, I can't stand to even look at some of the photos. Nothing appeals to me.
Good luck in your search for a new friend.
Hugs, JoAnn

So many kind replies. I want to make it clear that I don't want someone else. I am just trying to describe that feeling I had back then of being incomplete. I have that same feeling now. I am incomplete without Charlie.

Julie

I met my Don when I was 15 and he was 17. He was the most exciting and I thought handsomest person in the whole world. We went steady all through high school and married right after I graduated. we were married 51 years, and together as a couple for 55 years. I am lonley but there could never be another man for me. I am incomplete without him. We were two hearts blended into one. I will miss and yearn for him for the rest of my life. Which I hope is not long.

It seems we all understand. If I even knew where to "look" for another man, I'd be looking for another Joe. Someone who not only resembled Joe, but could love me for me, like Joe did.

I know that won't be happening! We started dating @ 17, married @ 19, and were married 38 plus yrs. We thought we were so mature, and, really we were -- compared to the youth of today. Still, we had some more "growing up" to do, and we did that together. So, a new relationship would definitely be a NEW experience. Still NOT Joe. The yearning would still be there. Very understandable post.
Hugs, Joely

I don't have that far to remember back, but I was not looking for a mate. The thought never crossed my mind. I was too consumed with trying to finish college and support myself. He was there...I just didn't notice him much. He was not my type, or so I thought. I can still see him outside my window with his guitar playing Toby Keith...How Do You Like Me Now.

Maggie