Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
For some reason this has become an issue....
Late summer time and lately "several times" I am getting the feeling because I am alone
people are trying to use me
Example; One set of couple asked to use my horse trailer now its been so often since this summer AND I think they think its theirs they come and take it whenever without calling -
(I ASKED my good neighbors what they thought about this & they felt I need to say NOT NO BUT H#@! NO, AND that I am being taken advantage of. SO I put a lock on it and waiting for the confrontation:
I have decided all I am gonna say is "I have decided this is not going to be a public use trailer from now on" than shut up.
Another person keeps asking to use my snowmobiles since Roger is gone I won't need two anymore why don't I let them use it??? That Happen twice in last two weeks...different people I just say I do not lend my snowmobiles and I started to say due to legal liability but they would go through well we will sign something or we can put insurance on them SO NOW I do not give excuses just say NO.
Several (5) have asked if I want to sell my horse trailer, my snowmobile trailer, my saddles, my horses, my camper etc since I am alone now.
And just offer me a great deal to help me get rid of them...(ha ha on the great offers)
Its like these people here see me and feel I have had enough time to grieve they can come and start grabbing???? Anyway its happen rather frequent in time I have been starting to think - IS it because I am a widow now and finally needing to get rid of stuff they feel they should use or want????
Has anyone else had this happen?
Late summer time and lately "several times" I am getting the feeling because I am alone
people are trying to use me
Example; One set of couple asked to use my horse trailer now its been so often since this summer AND I think they think its theirs they come and take it whenever without calling -
(I ASKED my good neighbors what they thought about this & they felt I need to say NOT NO BUT H#@! NO, AND that I am being taken advantage of. SO I put a lock on it and waiting for the confrontation:
I have decided all I am gonna say is "I have decided this is not going to be a public use trailer from now on" than shut up.
Another person keeps asking to use my snowmobiles since Roger is gone I won't need two anymore why don't I let them use it??? That Happen twice in last two weeks...different people I just say I do not lend my snowmobiles and I started to say due to legal liability but they would go through well we will sign something or we can put insurance on them SO NOW I do not give excuses just say NO.
Several (5) have asked if I want to sell my horse trailer, my snowmobile trailer, my saddles, my horses, my camper etc since I am alone now.
And just offer me a great deal to help me get rid of them...(ha ha on the great offers)
Its like these people here see me and feel I have had enough time to grieve they can come and start grabbing???? Anyway its happen rather frequent in time I have been starting to think - IS it because I am a widow now and finally needing to get rid of stuff they feel they should use or want????
Has anyone else had this happen?
~;)
Prayers for better days and friends :)
Stand your ground on your other possessions. Tell them if you ever want to get rid of anything, you will let them know.
You don't necessarily have to be a widow for this to happen -- you just have useful equipment that they wish they had.
When I was quite young, we had neighbors that borrowed every tool my husband owned,coffee, cigarettes, and many other items I can't remember. They probably continued this wherever they moved to!
Hang in there - Doye
But, some see grief as a time that they can swoop in and try to get what they want! My grandparents owned several large farms. After my grandfather passed away, we rented them out. Years later, when my grandmother passed away....there were two or three local farmers who had the audacity to ask my father and uncle at the funeral home if we wanted to sell the farms and when we would sell them!
Nothing like being quick to get your name in there!
We were not ready to sell. And we more than knew the worlth of all that land!
I on the other hand sold and self financed a commercial property we owned ( 4 mos after "The Bear " died)and have had nothing but trouble, if not corrected by the end of the month, I'm foreclosing and turning all the NSF checks over to the district attorney, I'm mad as hell and going to use the "poor widow" taken advantage of to the best of my ability!!
Sorry for the rant,
but you learning to say NO to them? that's PRICELESS!
It's sad that the nicer you are, and more giving you are, there will always be people who will take advantage. So sorry you have to go through that?
Real friends will never take advantage. the rest are just people you know. finding out who the real are as apposed to the fake/ Again Priceless.
HUGS and WAY TO GO on saying no and being OK to do it!
HUGS Diane
Wow, I am glad you put a lock on the trailer and you could also tell them, if you want to use them, I will rent them out. Rent them for more then what a rental company would. So, you would know for sure they would not rent them. Tell them rent is due before they take, so that would make sure they would not take it and agree to pay you rent later. No, tell them rent first.
Snowmobiles
Tell them you are holding on to them for your grandchildren and you do not want them used anymore except by family. They are now your grandchildren's and they do not want them used by anyone.
Hugs,
Judy
"NO!" is a good word for those wanting to "borrow" continually. I like the lock idea also.
Hopefully, the couple will get the idea from the lock.
Have a Blessed week. Hugs, Joely