Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
For some reason this has become an issue....
Late summer time and lately "several times" I am getting the feeling because I am alone
people are trying to use me
Example; One set of couple asked to use my horse trailer now its been so often since this summer AND I think they think its theirs they come and take it whenever without calling -
(I ASKED my good neighbors what they thought about this & they felt I need to say NOT NO BUT H#@! NO, AND that I am being taken advantage of. SO I put a lock on it and waiting for the confrontation:
I have decided all I am gonna say is "I have decided this is not going to be a public use trailer from now on" than shut up.
Another person keeps asking to use my snowmobiles since Roger is gone I won't need two anymore why don't I let them use it??? That Happen twice in last two weeks...different people I just say I do not lend my snowmobiles and I started to say due to legal liability but they would go through well we will sign something or we can put insurance on them SO NOW I do not give excuses just say NO.
Several (5) have asked if I want to sell my horse trailer, my snowmobile trailer, my saddles, my horses, my camper etc since I am alone now.
And just offer me a great deal to help me get rid of them...(ha ha on the great offers)
Its like these people here see me and feel I have had enough time to grieve they can come and start grabbing???? Anyway its happen rather frequent in time I have been starting to think - IS it because I am a widow now and finally needing to get rid of stuff they feel they should use or want????
Has anyone else had this happen?
Late summer time and lately "several times" I am getting the feeling because I am alone
people are trying to use me
Example; One set of couple asked to use my horse trailer now its been so often since this summer AND I think they think its theirs they come and take it whenever without calling -
(I ASKED my good neighbors what they thought about this & they felt I need to say NOT NO BUT H#@! NO, AND that I am being taken advantage of. SO I put a lock on it and waiting for the confrontation:
I have decided all I am gonna say is "I have decided this is not going to be a public use trailer from now on" than shut up.
Another person keeps asking to use my snowmobiles since Roger is gone I won't need two anymore why don't I let them use it??? That Happen twice in last two weeks...different people I just say I do not lend my snowmobiles and I started to say due to legal liability but they would go through well we will sign something or we can put insurance on them SO NOW I do not give excuses just say NO.
Several (5) have asked if I want to sell my horse trailer, my snowmobile trailer, my saddles, my horses, my camper etc since I am alone now.
And just offer me a great deal to help me get rid of them...(ha ha on the great offers)
Its like these people here see me and feel I have had enough time to grieve they can come and start grabbing???? Anyway its happen rather frequent in time I have been starting to think - IS it because I am a widow now and finally needing to get rid of stuff they feel they should use or want????
Has anyone else had this happen?
When you share/give freely without thought of payback/inconvenience/reward then "being used" really doesn't enter into it.
I maintain. It is all just stuff. If we hoard it/are stingy with it/covet it...all we do is set ourselves up for suffering.
This is just my philosophy. I am fully aware that it isn't everyone's.
(((hugs)))
Carla
What happened was his girlfriend started using it without asking, just showing up & taking it. Twice when I needed it, and was going to use it. And not taking care of it.... Steve has medical issues lost his drivers liscense so without it insurance w/not cover it. SO he is smart enough not to borrow it.....she takes it upon herself to take over - shes not the most reliable in taking care of things, nor does she has a large pickup to safely take it (its a heavy 4-horse trailer).
After I once said it was not available when she shows up JUST TO TAKE it herself I thought it was over until her phone call recently she was just coming to get it. So thus the locking it off...
Being taken advantage of - lending kindness in this case have been too different things. The chances of an accident with my horse trailer were strong enough to warrent the lock...
And just before that with the snowmobiles they were from those who would not take care of them, and my liability would be high..
I often lend tools etc to those who care.....but those who don't I hate messing with them...