Yes, all first are difficult. I even counted as a firm when I lit the last incense my husband had bought for me! That's crazy. I admire you that you are cooking for yourself. That to me sounds like a great sign! Be easy on yourself and remember that all firsts have to happen, but then you have a second and it gets a little easier. I lost my husband in April and I have experienced a lot of firsts -- just now I am dreading all of the upcoming holidays and what I am going to do. Right about now I wish I were a bear and could hibernate for the winter! But the reality is that I must face all of these new challenges face on as my husband would have wanted me to. It just came to my mind one of his sayings -- whenever you know you have a problem or think that something is coming up that you really don't want to handle, it is better to take the bull of the horns and get it over with -- this way it's done. Well, I'm going to look for the bull and try to hang on to the horns. I hope you enjoy your pot roast and will use the left overs for sandwiches or maybe share it with a friend or family member! Good first!!!! Blessings.

What is this pot roast for one crap? Send me some!!! It sounds yummy! and I haven't had turnips forever!!!!!

Seriously tho Wendywillow, I know just what you mean. After my husband died I found myself rarely cooking but when I did it was beef and noodles over mashed potatoes. Something he liked ok (without the potatoes) and it actually struck me as odd because I think I made them more in the first year after his death that I had in all the years we had been together. but cooking for one made me cry for a long time.
Hang in there. {hugs}

Your husband was so right. Take the bull by the horns and get it over with. I wish I could take his good advice. I will try, since I usually procrastinate - which as we all know just makes things worse.
I wish I could hibernate too. And not have to face the holidays either.

Thanks driveler - actually I'd forgotten that I did not cook for the whole summer!! I just could not face it in the first 2 months after David died. Did not care whether I ate or not. Made a sandwich or ate whatever was in the fridge (banana and pb, a slice of cheese, old cucumbers).

So, maybe my pot roast is some kind of progress! Hmm. Thanks for pointing out the obvious, and at the same time, giving me support. Cool!

My Joe used to grill steaks out for us at least once a week. His steaks were better than the best restaurants! Since he died 9 months ago, I have not had a steak at all and I love steak. In the grocery store the other day, my eyes landed on some ribeye steaks. On the spur of the moment, I selected a package with 2 steaks in it. I seasoned it that night just like I had seen Joe do it, but I cooked it in the frying pan. To my great amazement, the steak was delicious and satisfied a deep longing. I spoke to Joe and said that I finally gave in and cooked a steak for myself. I know he would be thinking, "It's about time! You did a good job!" I love my Joe!!

newroads,
Good for you!!!! I am so glad it tasted great. I am sure that Joe was proud of you! I have never been a good steak cooker. oh well!

I found cooking for one seriously depressing as well. Noone to share it with and noone to appreciate it. Hardly seemed worth the bother. I still struggle with this one.
I had a lot of meltdowns that first year everytime I cooked one of his favourites.
I even cried using the little pots and frying pans for one. I used to wonder why they bothered to include them in the sets.
Who would have thought cooking would be such an emotionally charged issue.
Too bad we didn't all live closer and we could take turns hosting potlucks.
I am in a dinner club and really enjoy it!
Sorry for your pain.

Wendy, I am impressed like the others that you're even able to cook for yourself. But let me add that the name you've given this thread is very catchy and clever, so I see your sense of humor peeking through the clouds around you.

Hugs, Gail

Quick food tip - I discovered the new (new to me at least) packages (not cans) of tuna and tuna salad. The package is just right for one sandwich. It isn't mushy like canned tuna. I like the tuna salad the best because it has crunchy celery and other ingredients.
No cooking, great taste, quick (make it during a commercial on TV). Fish for the woman on the go (ha,ha).
I would love it if others would share quick one-person ideas for healthy, easy, quick meals.

I used to love to cook for my husband. I rarely cook anymore. I used to make the best por roast, I'd call it my marry me pot roast...and he did.
The thing about pot roast is it makes good left overs so you won't have to cook for a couple of days.

Jeepers, ladies......Pot Roast!!!! My favorite!!! And you guys keep talking about it so my tummy's growling already and I just had pizza for dinner.........but Pot Roast???? This just is not fair.......not fair at all.......And Linda: When we had Pot Roast for dinner, there were NO leftovers......maybe an onion or two, but that's it.....I guess I know what I'll be dreaming about tonight.......Pot Roast..........Joe...:-)

I understand how you feel. I've been thinking that cooking food for cooler days is going to be emotional. Chuck loved pie, but I don't think that I will be making any of those. I won't eat any and my boys aren't crazy about pie. At least I don't have to deal with making one of those. Oh how Chuck loved apple and cherry pie!

I mentioned to my oldest son that I probably won't be cooking much this winter. He told me that he and his friends would love some home cooking. They also volunteered to help with things around the house. This could work out for all us. I have some company for a meal and get some help; they get some homecooking. Guess this is becoming my "new normal".

This winter is definitely going to be different. Sometimes just being in the kitchen and seeing all of the pans I used to cook things in for him is emotional. I enjoyed cooking for him
and we both loved to eat.

Hope you enjoyed you potroast. Sounds good. Take care...

Early on I remember crying in the store over pork chops. I couldn't go shopping at our regular store, and every time I saw something that I would get for the two of us and then I would say, oh yes, I need to find a smaller package because there is only one of us. Or I would look at something that I would have bought because Denny liked it and then I would think,...that's right, he's gone so no one would eat it. Then I would cry. I cried oceans and oceans early on. I cried all the way home every day for six months.

First I cried oceans, then I cried rivers, then I cried streams, then I cried puddles. I would then think that my tears would somehow run out and it would get me going again.

I accepted every tear as normal and kept putting one foot in front of the other.

I am glad I have survived all the firsts, and survived the 13 month sadness of realizing that just because a year went by did not mean I missed him less. But slowly somehow as I kept moving forward...baby step by baby step...I healed more and more.

At almost a year and a half and so many tears over meals for one and so many tears and anger and sadness, I am here...I am now at a place where I can smile again and feel the joy of living again.

Many hugs to you as you move through these very very difficult moments and days and months..

-Diana

I'm like you, Diana. Shopping sent me into tears. I kept trying to buy things only he liked & would have to put them back. I "grill" with a small George Foreman. I buy a package with a few pieces of meat & divide it into single servings then freeze them. I've learned to mix casserole dishes the same as always but divide it into two smaller pans & cook one but freeze the other for another time. I love it when my son & his family come because then I get a "real meal". Ninety percent of the time I settle for a PBJ sandwich.

Wendy - at 6 months out, first Thanksgiving, I turned down 3 invitations, and instead, made a 15 lb turkey, gravy and mashed potatoes. For me. I spent the whole day cooking, with Black Sabbath blasting. It kept me going, and focused me. I barely ate anything, but I had leftovers for weeks. I get it. Hugs, Marsha