I do not have any advice, just want to say that I understand what you are feeling in many aspects. I am tired of always crying, I miss my Joe so much and I am scared out of my mind as to what the future holds for me. I keep hoping that out of this I can find some meaningful way to do something good in my husband's honor but I have not come up with anything yet. What I try to remind myself is one day at a time. Hugs! Lisa

Vicky sorry for your state and I live in it too if that helps. Though I have no kids.We are in this for the long haul, as someone else on here said, I think. There is no escape from the sorrow because they're not coming back-no interlocution. I'm sorry, and that's all I can say. Our hope is not in this world, but in the age to come, if you are a believer. My hope is now even more set on God.

Hi,

I'm sending you condolences. These times are so uncomfortable for many of us. It is so challenging to form new memories. Recalling the past and personal events is all that I think of.

However, I do much of my thinking these days while sitting outdoors under the stars, watching the stars and taking in the moonlight; this way is so soothing for me. And just as with you, I don't really care for spending time with large groups of people, which I never have felt so.

Have you tried exercising to elevate your energy. And if you are not very able to move around, there are still lots of therapeutic exercise equipment available. Eating healthy and staying hydrated is important as well, which I am certain that your therapist is keeping a watch on you. Though there are many other useful things to do now, many. Some have gone back to educate, college, or perhaps you may join-up with a local community training group, or support group. I like crafting, which really keeps my mind distracted. Then, I do have adult children and we go out to movies and to dinner, or we watch our favorite television shows together. I laugh a lot too. I've always kept a sense of humor during sad times. A gift of God, seems to me.

To be frank and honest, though, the only sure way that I cope is by staying very close to the Lord. I really enjoy reading the scriptures on a daily basis. As a matter of fact, I gulp-down any literature which is spiritual. And do be aware of what you are feeling and thinking while low in spirit, it is so very important to take liability for those disturbing episodes, such as mood shifts, anger, irritability, and especially those streams of uncontrollable crying, which crying is said to be helpful. (Feel-good chemicals are released in the body whenever we cry tears of sadness.) However it is so important for you to surround yourself with whatever works to keep you in a safe and happy range of emotions. There are so many good and positive ways to deal with the loss of a significant other. I hope the best for you too.

DS has a Loneliness Support Group and this is another useful idea. All will soon again be well and many hugs to you and your family.

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/loneliness

I know exactly how you feel. My husband and I talked about everything. I'm having trouble with my car and my air conditioner. I know that I can get them fixed but it was just talking about the little things that bother me so much. I have no one to talk to about the little problems let along the big ones. I have figured out something I can do to honor him but I have no idea how I'm going to do it. I will figure it out. I was just thinking about something. If I was diagnosed with cancer would I do anything to try and cure it or would I just let myself die. At this point I'm not sure what I would do. I miss my husband so much and I want to be with him so much I'm not sure I wouldn't just let myself die. I don't know at this point. I'm 60 I can't imagine another 20 years like this.

One thing I can say is your friends won't understand how you are feeling unless they have also lost a mate. You can cry and tell them your feeling but they will never understand the loss. I gave up trying. I focused on the 2 good friends who were always there to take my calls. I made a few other friends who were widows who understood what I was going through and I focused on myself and my kids. I couldn't change what happened to my husband but I could change my outcome. I take it one day at a time and when it gets to hard, one minute at a time. It is very hard to be social again, but you just have to do it in baby steps. It still feels weird when I go to a social event without my husband, no one to tell I am going out with friends but it also feels good to be doing different things.

I know exactly how you feel. Many things remind me of my wife and bring me to tears. Let the tears come whenever they need to. It's 2 1/2 years for me and when I need to cry, I just cry. It doesn't matter how often. Losing a spouse is something you can never understand unless you have gone through it. Don't expect your friends and family to understand if they haven't lived it. If you want to talk to someone, it will have to be someone who is also widowed. I also have problems being social. Don't force it. Be social when you want to and stay home when you don't. I have mentioned on this site before that I am a big music nerd. It's the only hobby that still brings me joy. The joy has faded from everything else. See if you can find something too. Just one thing will help. Don't try to be a certain way. If today is sad, let it be sad. If it's happy, let it be happy. This loss changes us forever. Life is now lonely (I won't date again), and it's melancholy. I wish I could be more uplifting for you. I also wish I could give you a big hug. Please stay on this site. It will help. You are not alone.

kindred spirit,
Thanks for the support, kind words , understanding and hug. It helps.
Vicky