There's going to come a time where you will start to feel again.After my fist husband of 2 years fell to his death I thought my life such as that was over...2 years later I met my second husband of 36 years who passed away 15 months ago..someone on here said to me You are only feeling glimpses of what may be..Hold in there there can be joy again. Know your not alone in these feelings from Hell. Hugs to you

Thanks for message but it just seems so pointless at times nothing to do all day same thing.

mickeyboy...I am having a bad day today. My husband passed away suddenly almost 6 weeks ago. I am at work and trying my best to stay on task and blink the tears back, but all I can think about is that my darling husband won't be home when I get there. We were married 40 years and he was the love of my life from the minute I saw him smile. I know I am new to this grief thing, but it really does suck for sure. Posting here helps. At least you are among people who understand that you just don't "get over it". I am very grateful to all of you. Betty

The loneliness and boredom gets to me sometimes too. Some suggestions would be: if there's a casino nearby go in and play the slots for a while. If you have small grandkids or other children in your life, volunteer to watch them for a few hours. I went to a movie on a Tuesday afternoon and there were only 8 other people in the theater and each one was alone so I didn't feel so bad. Go out to eat at a fast food place. Take a long drive in a direction you don't usually go. My daughter usually takes me out to lunch once a week with her young daughters, so if you have grown children ask them out to lunch. My father-in-law was a widower for the last 10 years of his life and his little dog helped him through it. He also would take a trip to the mountains 300 miles away by himself every year and he was in his 80's. Go out and buy yourself something nice every so often. If you like yard work now is a good time for that. Clean out a drawer or closet each day and declutter your house. That's all I can think of right now. I wish you much happiness and peace.

Great ideas Marie!!! And, just remember Mickey, just because friends have stoped calling you doesn't mean you can't call them to go out to have a bite to eat, go to a movie or just have coffee. The phone works both ways...a lot of us seem to forget that. I call or text friends, if the first says no, I try another! It never hurts to ask, right? I know it's early on this journey for you and you have my deepest sympathy...but always remember....you are in charge and in control of your future now....warm wishes to you for strength and courage!
Darcie

Hi all and thanks for messages, yes I've done all those things as I have grandchildren we all when to Bognor last week, 4days been out buying clothes, gadgets, etc taken kids to cinema to see latest films and there stay over, but it's this feeling of total emptiness even with all this going on, just need to get out nowhere special so just go for a drive, but have to come home again to the emptiness.

marie44...Your suggestions are great. My kids took me to the casino last week and between the people watching and playing, my mind was occupied and I found I did have a good time. Going to the casino was one of our favorite pastimes. I have been keeping busy going to my granddaughters sporting events and dance recitals. Again, thank you to all of you!

micky, I posted the same dreadful feelings saturday, and more. I am 2 yrs +2 months into this widowhood. my husband died suddenly. no warning. but it helped, and I felt better the next day.
My friends (long distance) are starting to give me mandatory assignments to go places. This is the hardest & worst thing that I have ever experienced.
I wish for recovery, but HOW? I don't know.
You are still in the early loss. My whole first year & a half was spent with new, extra health catastrophes.
Just know that you are not the only one going through this, and it is safe to come here and tell us.
Hug, from Barb.


Vent here.

It sure is safe to come here Mickey, we all will help you the best that we can! Sounds like you are truly trying and for that I am very proud of you! Hang in there! Believe it or not...you will be ok ...not the same but ok...
Warm hugs!
Darcie

It's also 6 months since I lost my husband. I thought I was doing OK till a couple of months ago. Then it hit me hard that he is really gone and I got very depressed. Some days I do nothing around the house and just watch television all day. Every day I tell myself that I'm going to clean the house or catch up on paperwork and the next day, I just don't care enough to do anything. I feel like I've been in a fog for the last 6 months.

Oh Lord, I remember that all too well. It's like living life inside out -- or having to look out where your not, and trouble just getting my brain to do that simple task. You'll get through it. We all do if we want to but our grief has to first release its grip on us. Stranglehold really. And for that, there is no predictor of how long. And then you will be able to function. I promise. ~~~ Scottie

I completely understand and I am deeply sorry for your loss and the pain you are feeling. I lost my husband of 34 years last April. I wish I could say that it has gotten easier for me but that is not the case yet. I just came upon this group in hope of finding hope...

Jacqueline said it so well: she came here "in hope of finding hope".

I'm so sorry your soulmate passed away. There is no easy way to grieve, or cure all.

Hope and faith, is sometimes all we have to go on...Almost two in a half years ago, I was where you are right now. Time doesnt heal, but it does help to accept that they arent with us physically. The rest is up to us. Join a griefshare support group, volunteer somewhere, plant a garden. It's not easy, and your still very early in your wife passing. I have more good days now, instead of all bad days. I do have bad days, but it's less detrimental than it was in the beginning. Give yourself more time, and be gentle to yourself. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, or feel. we all felt that desperation, and loneliness, and just to have someone to talk to... when it use to be our loves, that filled that want. Much love and gentle hugs, carla

I feel the same way. I was married for 39 years and she died 6 month ago from complications of heart surgery. Then my best friend that i know since i was 18 passed away a month later. I have COPD and am having. a really hard time. My little dog is the only thing that keeps me going.