Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
it's been 6 months now since I lost my wife ed to cancer, after 42 years, and the loneliness is really starting to get to me day in day out no purpose anymore even friends stop ringing now as there all think I'm doing ok whatever that is, all I do is get up and put TV on then go to shop for some food and that's it same thing day after day, week ends are worse sometimes don't see a soul for days, what's the point.
I so understand your feeling of despair and loneliness. I think everyone on here would say that it a huge struggle. You are early in the process and though it probably doesn't help to hear that, it is a fact. The fact is that the longer time goes by, the more you get used to feeling this way.
My husband died 21 months ago and I do feel different than I did early on. So just as others have said, you gotta hold on. Everyday the sting will lesson. It will still come and zap you. Sometimes it might be worse than before, but it will happen for shorter periods of time, and you you know that you can get through it, because you already have. You are surviving.
The only reason I am alive is because I have to take care of my 3 kids. They need me. Your grandkids need you. Make it about them.
My last 2 cents is that when you are feeling awful it is ok to feel the feelings. The hard part is not getting "stuck" and believe me, I feel stuck a lot. I've read that grief is like a vortex. You have to fight like hell when you feel yourself getting pulled under. The single thing that keeps me from staying in that vortex and pushing out is doing something for others. You can always do something for someone else. Even the smallest of gestures. For that period of time(maybe even just a few minutes)you are focused on someone other than yourself and you forget. You forget.
Of course we have every right to have shitty days and days that all we can do is think about ourselves. And that is ok. But there will come a time when you are ready to reach out and share your light. It might be impossible to see right now, but it can happen. One day you are 1 baby step forward...