I was 45 and my husband was 58 when he died of heart complications following surgery. He had been battling heart disease for 10 years.

I have been all over the net trying to find a study that says that - lots of newsy articles but no hard study.

I found one study that said average age for cancer deaths was between 45-56. Another study said likelihood of remarriage after being widowed was higher in the 47-55 age group.

The official government numbers - i.e., U.S. government numbers for life expectancy are men at 77 and women at 81, with the UK life expectancies slighter higher for both.

I checked one census study that I could find and it said - if I read it right - that only 10% of widows are in the 50-59 age bracket. This would seem to jive with the life expectancy tables, but we here sure seem out of sync then. I'm totally confused now.

I never wanted to join this club, no matter how exclusive it is....

Anybody got a link to a genuine study? I'm wondering if this is urban legend or if it's focused on cancer deaths or what?

Here are a few links: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/08/13/earlyshow/living/money/main568117.shtml

http://www.bereavement-poems-articles.com/articles/widow/103-widows-perspective.php

http://www.netwellness.org/question.cfm/23161.htm

I was 3 months shy of my 56th birthday. My husband was 6 weeks shy of his 61st birthday.

My mother was 59 when she became a widow, so was my sister.

My sister in law was 50.

I did not realize the age for widows was around 56, I became a widow 10 months ago at 51, did not imagine it would happen to me. God is my source of strength and hope.

We were both 32 when he passed...sucks.

Grandmother 23. Aunt 24. Aunt(through marriage) 56.

I was 58 and my Larry was 60. Still, too, too soon!!!

I was 59; my husband was 62 when he had his heart attack. No prior health problems. TJ

Okay, I checked the links, and finally found some real data. According to the U.S. Government, only 26% of women between 65-74 are widows, which would seem to dispute the age 56 claim. It does not climb to over 50% until you get to the 75-84 age group, and then it's only 52%. Here's the government's graph showing this:

http://www.agingstats.gov/agingstatsdotnet/Main_Site/Data/2008_Documents/Population.aspx

I think it's always wise to tell people to plan for the worst, but it seems like maybe that was a scare tactic used to sell books on financial advice.

I did find another study where the median age of the participants was 56 - i.e., they surveyed people ages 51 to 61, so maybe the number was pulled from that.

Obviously, this don't mean kadiddly-squat for us - we're still stuck with this reality as being youngish widows/widowers which sucks. But at least before we go running off and telling all our girlfriends that the future is bleak a lot sooner than they think, we might want to look again at the numbers.

I still hate being in this exclusive club, but at least the chances for my girlfriends are still pretty good that they won't go through this hell as soon as I have had to....

I was 55 and my hubby was 48, so much for marrying the younger man. One minute jogging, the next minute gone.

I was 60 husband was 62

I checked further into the statistic. It's not from financial websites, but from the 1985 census. It may be slightly different now, but I couldn't imagine it being that different.

I was 49 but my mom was widowed at 30 when I was just a baby.
I went to live with my grandparents til I was 5 & grew up without a dad.

Tru, can you put up the link?