I sometimes get the feeling when i feel like talking to someone, those that i feel i can talk to, like they start to think, oh great, here's the mourner again, still in that frame of mind and they are tired of hearing about it?
I don't talk about ALL bad things like what happened and how i am feeling trying to figure if it is another stage of grief. I truly am starting to believe some people are tired of hearing me . Those times when you want someone just to listen because you need to let it out, let out the fears and sorrows, the anger and the tears. Well, i will be more selective about who i say what to now, because if i need a shoulder i want them to know i will also do it for them.
Today makes 9 months with no hubby. I still have all memories, good, sad etc. and it feels like he's been gone so long but like it just all happened a few weeks ago. I tell myself "don't go down that road" when i think of things i wish HAD been said or done, because it's too late now. But it doesn't mean I don't miss my significant other and want to talk about it. Can't help it sometimes if i cry. Sometimes I don't cry. Depends.
So it's good to know that here everyone knows how you feel. Because they have been there, are there or going through it now.
I hope we all can have some peace in our boggled minds. When you feel like you are just a zombie on the couch. That's when I try to get up and go outside, check on the dogs, go feed or put out the horses, jump on the tractor and drive it to check the mail cause it's more fun than walking 400ft of driveway. Or jump on the rider mower and mow just to mow. Or take the mower to check the mail.
Then when you are ready to relax, take your meds if you are on any, and find something funny to watch on the tube or rea, get your kitty cat on your lap or come here if you need to say something.
So there, that's how i feel.
LOL. Just to clarify, I may FEEL like a Zombie, but I don't look like one!
Everyone out there with your broken hearts, take care.
Gotta to feed horses now check the mail.....hmmm i think I'll take my husbands truck! It needs starting and since its a huge one ton 4 door, long bed with enormous steel grill in front and huge steel bumper on back (a pulling machine work truck) I drive very carefully in that 5 speed monster. I'll be selling it soon.
Again, you guys and ladies - take care. Look in the mirror and say, I am sad but by God I will make it somehow someway. Let my husband or wife have wings and come to stay be my side and help lead me.
Good night all.