Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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calgaryhair 03/17/2015

I am a brand new member. My husband passed away 6 weeks ago. I found this support group a few weeks ago and whenever I was feeling sad I would read the messages. The messages really help me to realize that what I am feeling is "normal" under the circumstances and most important I am not alone. I find I have lots of friends to do things with, as I am blessed with an awesome support system, but I have no one to do nothing with, No one to just have a coffee with late at night. I miss the times we would just sit and not speak but just be together watching the sun go down. Or early morning sunrise. Due to the fact my husband was so sick the past few years, I had to take care of the finances and household chores. I am so grateful that I don't feel overwhelmed by those tasks but I still would talk over decisions with my husband. The one thing I am most surprised at is that is has only been 6 weeks but it seems so long ago! So much has happened! I have tried to keep myself very busy. A way for me to cope I suppose. Anyways I just wanted to say hello. Hugs to all.

mannie123 03/17/2015

I am so sorry for your loss. This is a great site with lots of wonderful people. If you need advice and support you found the right place.

npc4204 03/17/2015

I understand what you're saying. A few months after my husband passed my doctor asked me what I missed the most. I said "his presence".
Just knowing that he was there for breakfast, that I could call him during the day while I was at work, that he would be there when I got home ... just his presence.

And some days it feels like he's been gone forever and other days it feels like yesterday.

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Welcome to this site. You'll find compassionate, caring, understanding friends here.

Hugs,
Janie

calgaryhair 03/17/2015

Thank you for caring. We will make it! Just sometimes I feel so overwhelming sad which I know everyone here on this group feels. Hugs to all

deleted_user 03/17/2015

My Morey had been ill for years, I noticed it but every time I would say something to him he would shut me down. He stopped seeing his doctor [I found this out shortly before he passed] and he stopped taking his meds [again, I only knew this shortly before!]

We had an amazing marriage for over 35 years and the last few were very rough, both for he and for me. I'm deeply saddened for the way in which he passed. For his loss of his ability to walk and think and live. I cry for the loss of the years of love and devotion that we truly shared with one another.

I'm sorry for your loss and I totally understand how it can feel like it happened yesterday and then 100 years ago.

I wish you well.

Roz

JesusisOurSaviour 03/17/2015

I am so deeply sorry for your loss. This is a good place to be.
We all share your sadness and I know for sure, there is an understanding here, that most friends don't have. Unless they have lost their beloved spouse.
Take care.....Sandra

triquetra 03/17/2015

Hi calgaryhair, sorry you lost your husband. Welcome to a place that has been tremendous help for me.

Rainbow27 03/17/2015

So very sorry for your loss. This site has given me much comfort over the last year. Your comment about not having someone to have a cup of coffee with late at night brought tears to my eyes. My husband loved to make me a cup of coffee... he would have it ready when I pulled in the garage at night ... Now, a year after his passing I still can't bring myself to make a cup of coffee in this house. I can go buy a cup at Starbucks, but it is just a major trigger here. So glad you found this wonderful group.

Shrn 03/17/2015

I'm sorry for your loss, but glad you decided to join us. Losing my husband happened only 10 weeks after his diagnosis of lung cancer. The quiet moments is what many of us miss the most. Looking forward to hearing from you more. Sharon

dschwartz 03/17/2015

I'm sorry to say "welcome" to our group . . . and extend my sincerest condolences for your loss. I hope you will find our cyber family here of great support, as I have. Not easy, breezie . but we do find our way.

MrsLfromTX 03/17/2015

It is exactly 5 months that I lost my love (husband ) to cancer. I just can't believe it. After only 6 weeks you are just beginning. I still and will continue miss having our coffee in the morning. Of course when he became sicker he wouldn't and couldn't drink coffee anymore.i know how you feel and I found so many people on this site that felt like I did and it was good to be understood.
Post when you want, read our comments, send personal messages. Whatever makes you most comfortable.
Message me anytime. I know you're in pain. I go through the pain and tears each morning, night and at least one or two times during the day. And I am on antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds.
I wish you good dreams and comfort to your heart and soul.
take care.

deleted_user 03/17/2015

I am so very sorry for your loss. I too would drive into the driveway and would see him waiting for me. Then we would sit down and have a coffee. Oh how i understand your loss. It has been almost 9 mo. This site has so many caring people. They have been my strength even though i do not write often, i get a cup of coffee and read the posts and it helps me to know i am not alone on this journey.ni am so very grateful for this community.

calgaryhair 03/17/2015

Oh wow thank you everyone!! I sincerely mean that. Friends [bless them] and family [ lucky me] say they understand and feel for me. I know they are sincere but to talk to someone who understands that sudden pressure I get in my chest. Like my heart is really hurting. I know it is grieving. The first time I felt that pressure I thought I was having a heart attack but I realized my heart was only breaking. Hugs to all

sandeestttn 03/17/2015

Hi, welcome to our sad little group. I am so sorry for your loss. I was the caregiver of my husband for years also. And did the whole thing also. It has now been 2 years for me. I am finally rested. I thought I would never get to say that. I was also caregiver for my dad years before that. You are not alone. We are here to share your grief, Sandee

BandiBlue 03/18/2015

Hello . . .
I am so sorry to read of the loss of your husband, but I have to echo what others here have said: you have come to the right place for patience, understanding, and encouragement. Everyone here has truly felt what you are feeling. I would have never made it without the compassion of the friends I have met here.
Wishing you peace . . .

KimKos 03/18/2015

So sorry for your loss...may you find comfort here...I know I do. Sending a big hug..

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