Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Sleep

autumn1019
autumn1019
It has been about 2 1/2 months since my husband died and my sleep is still all screwed up. I either sleep for 12 hours straight and never want to get out of bed or I wake up after 2 hours and all I do is think about him and I can't get back to sleep. I do not take any sleep aids. I am exercising and don't drink caffiene except in the morning. Is this just a phase I have to get through?... this business of grieving is exhausting and has totally turned my life upside down. I don't like it one bit and I'm so tired of being sad and crying and being jealous of married people. I've been feeling especially lonely with the holidays and all...I hate being a widow. Thanks for the rant.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Dealing with death is something no one understands except for the person left behind. Sleep seems to be such an inconvenience during any hard times in our lives. A doctor might help with sleeping pills because without sleep nothing works.
I would like to remind you all that you seemed to have had something amazing in your lives, something most of us only dream about.Please remember to cherish and be very thankful for that experience of a great, long and happy relationship.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Each one of us is different, but i do know that we all suffer from insomnia (at least the majority) after our darlings are gone. I mean, we have been sleeping next to a warm, wonderful person for X years and then all of a sudden to get re-acquainted with an empty bed, to get used to sleeping by yourself with out that one person that can ease your worries, stresses and thoughts. we have to get used to not being kissed, snuggled and yes even loved at night. It is the hardest thing to fall asleep alone.
It is 3 years for me and my sleep has not been the same. Insomniac here, no pills, just me trying to sleep.
Advice: It does get better. I sleep a lot better than before. I never took pills myself to afraid of codependency, but walking like a zombie was not good either. Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute...