I think they may be attached to their kids in some ways, but that doesn't keep them from abandoning them. My exn has no relationship with his children in fact the (oldest 3 were adopted by other men )save the youngest one who he sends a card to and chats with occassionally online. He does not allow him to call because it "would use up too much phone time" And he has nothing to say." That's probably something he is blaming me for not having an unlimited long distance plan for him. Goofus.

Little Ken and Barbie dolls. They will say the right things and act the right way. But when no one is looking, those children will raise themselves... left with the S/P. Which I might add is a great way to help those children reach their full ASPD potential and potentially unlock the S/P puzzle within. Prizes, possessions, leverage, an investment. Anything but love. But remember they have spent a great deal studying what love looks like and can simulate it on a surface level.

Yes, all of you who had no children with an S should be thankful for that. Since I have full custody (a protection order and no contact) from my S at the moment, I could just die happy with that. Thank you God!! I am so thankful for my 2 kids with him, and so thankful he can't hurt them at the moment. I don't think he'll ever have much influence again.

And No, I do Not think he loves them. He is very similar to all above statements. He acted like the best superdad on earth. He was Very loving and affectionate to them, but never really "talked" with them, to understand their feelings, etc. All he could do was take them places, show them off, etc. Just like someone said above, "Like a cool sports car."

As they got into their young teens, S began to pull away. Maybe he experienced some trauma at this age, I don't know.

I can see that it will be hard to convince a judge and others that he does Not love them! People just can't imagine not loving your children, until they know a S. He actually Said so, in counseling. He'd always claimed the one thing he was sure of, was that he loved the kids. But in counseling, he actually admitted that he only THINKS he loves them. Like someone said above, he actually told me thru the (26) years that he wasn't sure what love was, but I didn't get it. I didn't know what an S was, so I didn't understand.

But the minute he moved out, he barely contacted them again. Once a week, at most. (I call my children every day, if they are visiting grandparents, etc. No freakin way could I not contact them a week.) AND, he cut off all our funds. Like you could do that to someone you love and care for.

Thank you so much for all your insight. It's sad and unbelievable, but at the same time, it makes sense that they truly can't love anyone else but themselves. After all they are sociopaths. They can't even truly love their offsprings....wow

I'd like to point out that there can be a lot of similarities (which a good S would love to exploit, the way they pin their attributes on others) between the actions of a sociopath away from their children and the actions of a victim D&D'd who has lost the fight. In fact I was too afraid to fight at all. For 4 years, I couldn't bear to be around her, afraid of her 'power' over me, that I didn't fight to be in my little boy's life. Because of her infidelity and my schedule going to sea, there was plenty reason to support a theory that he wasn't from me. I used that to feel better about the loss. I wanted to see him so bad, I wanted to be a good dad to him. That's what I would say, but my actions were dictated by fear. The results are similar inconsistencies between me (a victim at the time) and her. What I did was horrible, and I've spent the last 3 years doing my best to make up for it. But I see similarities in this thread that make me want to state that simply not being there, or saying they want to but not following through... can be signs of other dysfunction, even being on the other side of the wrecking ball.