I've been hearing disturbing voices for many years now. The first time I recall hearing them was when I was 7. Often they are unusually cruel and sadistic in nature. 

I have a long history of mental/emotional, physical and sexual abuse, starting at age 5 and continuing until I was 17 years old.

Lately I have been coming to terms with the fact that I am incapable of truly understanding my own sexuality. 

Growing up I was often called a "fag" or "gay" and constantly treated like I was that way. As I got older I often found myself interested in people of either gender. 

It was acceptable if I had a "crush" on most females and this was sometimes encourged. When I got caight kissing my same gender friend though the outcome was decidedly different.

Now as an adult I sit here trying to figure it all out.