Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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My story... sexual abuse or not ?

xxCJxxxblue
xxCJxxxblue

Hi IM Cj and I’m 14 years old.


I feel like me being sexually abuse started around the age of 10. I was 10 years old and my brother was 11. It started of small. My brother was touch my bum as I walked past and get his penis out. However it quickly turned into him forcing me to take my top off and him touching my boobs then taking my bra off. I know your probably thinking I wouldn’t of had boobs at the age of 10 but I have a chronic illness and it causes puberty to start early so I started puberty when I was 9. Touching my boobs then went onto kissing them. I never told anyone cause I was scared. I never said yes to my brother. I never gave consent . This carried on for 2 years till I was 12 and he was 13. I finally put my foot down and fought him away. However now he still gets his penis out in front of me and he still touches my bum and stares at my boobs. And i never told my parents because I feel like they wouldn’t believe me because he pretends to be shy and polite! And anyway I don’t want to tear my family apart !!  Was it sexual abuse?? I’m scared of him. I see him every day . He also physically hits me and strangles me. He also tells me it’s my own fault he did all that to me. I have panic attacks and anxiety and I jump when a lad  gets to close to me because I’m scared and I have flashbacks to me being held down while he kisses my boobs and I hate my body cause every time I look in the mirror all I think about is how he took over my body . 

undeservingaspie
undeservingaspie
It certainly is sexual abuse with what sounds like pyhiscal abuse too. I know ur scared but u need to tell a adult. If not ur parents then a trusted adult teacher at school or a friends parent you think is kind and caring. Maybe write it in a letter if its too hard to say. Trust me his abuse will come back and itl get worse. Tell a adult now please hun.
notalone00
notalone00
Yes, I would consider all of that abuse.. sexual for touching and being forced to look at his genitalia. And physical abuse, and I know there’s mental abuse by him blaming you that the thing he did to you was “all your fault”... it’s not your fault... not at all... you are the victim, he is the perpetrator... there is nothing a victim can do to cause someone to hurt them.. meaning, he chooses to do these things to you, not anything you are doing.. so all his blaming is trying to control you. As long as you don’t say anything, he’ll continue... so please find someone to tell... even from the school, or a friend’s parent.. someone... if they don’t believe you, you keep talking till it stops!!

Hang in there... keep us posted..

Notalone00
Beatha
Beatha
Totally agreed, this is abuse, emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Victim-blaming is very often a part of the abuse, but it's NOT your fault, it's his. You write you don't want to tear your family apart, but it's not you who tears your family apart, it's him. I second aspie and notalone, tell someone. It has to stop, you need and deserve to be safe and supported.
There are organisations who help survivors of sexual abuse, some offer the possibility to chat (anonymously if you want that) online. They can point you to other, local resources and give you advise about what to do. Try to find such an organisation or talk to any adult you trust.
Much support to you, congratulations on your courage to speak up here
xxCJxxxblue
xxCJxxxblue
I understand why you are all telling me to tell someone but there’s more to it. My brothers threatened to hang himself if I tell someone. I know he’s sexually abused me and physically and emotionally but as bad as it may sound I don’t want him dead. I can’t breathe when I’m even in the same building as him but there’s a part of me that just wants to forget and forgive him. He has asked for my forgiverness once and when I said no he told me it was my fault he sexually abused me . I’m just confused about what to do. I don’t want to ruin his life. I don’t believe in the saying “an eye for an eye” and I know people who have been accused of sexual abuse get a lot of hate and death threats from random people and I don’t want anyone even my brother to feel as on edge as I do . I feel like it’s a lose lose situation . IF I tell someone that means I have to actually say it out loud and im scared people won’t believe me . And I’ll be ruining his life and and any chance of him having a career. But if I don’t tell someone I feel suffocated . Like I can’t breathe and I’m constantly on edge and I’m constantly being judged and I want to cover up as much skin as possible and I want to change the way I look as much as possible because every time I look in the mirror or walk into my bedroom I have a panic attack and flashbacks . Every time I get dressed in front of people (PE in school) I get scared . No matter what I do it’s a lose lose situation
Beatha
Beatha
Ok, I understand your fears and that you don't believe in "an eye for an eye". But this is not about revenge, it's about you getting safety and support so you can recover. It's not about him right now, it's about you.
I'll say this because I heard many good things about it from people I trust, even though I have no personal experience with that organisation: RAINN.org is an US organisation helping survivors of sexual abuse. You can chat anonymously with them. Maybe they can tell you about options you have that I don't know about.
Even though you probably don't want to hear that: No matter what, you don't ruin your brother's life. He ruins his own life by hurting you in such a horrible way. I personally wouldn't worry if he has to bear the consequences for his actions.
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