I sometimes feel this way when I feel low Alant. But other times its okay.

I do this when I am stressed out or i am made to believe that I did something wrong. It is a natural thing for me to do now, I don't even know that I am doing it. I also withdraw from people.

I look past people 85% of the time and I HATE being looked at. Yea...causes issues at times. :-P

I hate being looked at too and I really also struggle with eye contact. Some days are better than others. I find if I am doing well then I make eye contact way more, and if I am struggling then I shy away from eye contact.

Then there are those people who when I look in their eyes all I see is love, and because I feel so unworthy of love I look away.

Time it all takes time, and one day we will all be able to look others in the eyes and not be frightened to have them looking back!

if someone looks at mt eyes for more than a second i feel like they trying to be inside me ???
sounds crazy its like they are cutting in to me and the walls cant hold and i have to push them away

i worked on this in 1998 with a close friend
just looking in to eyes
to try and cope it was very hard

at the same time they held my hand
to cope with a contact issue

it was very difficult
and i felt so stupid it was very upsetting

i have a past with this so im a bit worried
god i sound perthetic :(

all I see is love, and because I feel so unworthy of love I look away.


thats is so true thanks for that

No matter what Alant, your not pathetic.

We all have our challenges. I thought I handled my confidence issues years ago, but when I confronted my step father everything came back in my face again surprisingly. Hang in there buddy.

No you are not alone, I have felt like that a lot, my therapist and people that are in dbt make me do oppisite action, when I feel like not looking or hiding from people I am suppose to do the oppisite go out and let the world see me and look at people in the eye and just say hi, or ask a question to a store clerk or anyone. It is very hard and I don't like it but the more I do it the theory is that my mind will gain new info. and after awhile you will be able to look at people with ease. Hang in there I hope things get better for you.

You're not alone...I usually have trouble making eye contact and if I'm talking about what happened to me, I just stare at the ground

Not at all, I have the same problem but I did find that when I wear my reading glasses while talking with people, as long as I'm standing or sitting at arms length from them, it puts a blur on my ability to make eye contact making me feel a bit better. I've been doing that for the past ten years and nobody has questioned me about it since, I don't know what affect it could be having on my vision but I can still see clearly at present without the use of specs. Sorry, didn't mean to share that useless information with you, but I hope you find an effective way to beat these problems soon. Stay strong and keep well. I sure hope I'll be able to ditch the habit of using my reading specs and finally be able to look people in the eye when talking with them.

Hiya

Yip eye contact is a difficult one for me. I worry about it too because I wonder if people think I am hiding something from them or not being truthful because I cant look them in the eye (especially at work) but its just that I get very uncomfortable. I can't maintain it at all!

I try and force myself to make quick glances up at the eyes of the person I am talking to but I find that causes me to stress out and I loose what it is we are talking about.

It sucks that you are going through this but you are not pathetic. I suppose it is like everything else we find we have a problem with we have to take it day by day and try and work through it.

You are normal and I had issues with this even with out truama. I lacked self confidence and eye contact is powerful. As for you if it bothers you like it has been. Then it should be a goal for you to over come this. Greatest tool you have to acheive this.

This was my path although I had no idea it was going to make my eye contact with others no longer an issue. I needed a really good friend. One who knew my darkest secrects. A friend that would never leave me and well care about me more then I did myself. Who would lay down his life for me every day. I know it sounds crazy but when I found him. He was so proud of me. He trusted me and loved me like no other. I knew I would never be alone again and looking into his eyes I felt alive. Yes he is my very best and closest friend and I can see him any time all day if I ask. All I need to do is past a mirror and I see him smileing at me. He really does love me. You earn you as a friend all of a sudden you will find eye contact comes easy.

For more on the topic feel free to message me. My goals and objectives is to walk with another and show them the paths that others have succesfully used to climb out. I stick around and help when asked and let go when asked it is all about you.

It's funny - the eye contact thing - now that you mention it. I am in therapy and rarely look my therapist in the eye. I'm afraid to - afraid of what I'll see there. I usually stare out the window or down at the floor. I've been in counseling since late March and your comment made me realize I don't even know if I would recognize my therapist if I met him at a store somewhere. I know it's fear and embarrasment that make me not look at him. But I like the comments starynight wrote. It reminded me of the one time I was brave enough to REALLY look my therapist in the face. And he wasn't repulsed or judgemental at all. It sort of makes me wonder if I've imagined other people being repulsed by me when in truth there is only love and care in their eyes. Since I'm trying to be real, it looks like I'm going to have to start looking others in the eyes so I can see what their REAL reaction is.
Thanks for bringing this up!

i usually avoid contact with guys...girls not so much. sometimes i seem rude or people ask me what's wrong but it's not on purpose. ever since i was a little kid i ALWAYS cry if I am being confronted one-on-one by an authority figure...boss, teacher...even if I'm not in trouble, just getting criticism or support. the thing is, i'm not a pushover or anything...i usually don't take that much BS...i just can't handle one-on-one ughhh

I think avoiding eye contact has become a habit for me. I actually have to force myself to look someone in the eyes. I've learned that for me it's usually because I'm afraid of seeing rejection in their eyes. That rejection just hurts too much. So, you are not alone on this one by a long shot.