God; have I ever.

I could write a novel about the time I disclosed being a male molested by a female therapist on a sexual abuse message board once, of all places known as a Safe Place.
And don't even get me started about what the church did to me, my wife and son when I asked for prayer and acceptance of forgiveness for my sexual perpetrators.
And then there is the long list of my immediate family like my sister and illegit father.......................
And finally...........
Don't even let me get started about the hell and grief I have received from the mental health profession and the damage they have caused me like the watch lists, denial of services, monitoring and paranoia.

And the list goes on, add infinitum.

Tom S.in Tn.

Dear God in heaven above. As a male victim of female therapeutic sexual perpetration, there are NO correct persons that can be told, but go ahead and vent. This is your discussion topic and I don't want to ruin it.

omg

and everyone aks when kids are abused why didnt they say something

I am sorry that you experience this. I would say and have told others that it is not always a good idea to talk to friends about what you have been through.

It is best to deal with professionals that do know how to help you with this type of abuse.

You are in no way to blame for what you went through.

I am here if you want to talk!!

With love!

I told people before too and they told me to get help and get over it. They just dont understand. And your right, when they say why didnt you just tell someone. im like i was really scared and mortified and so messed up how could i. Im here if you need to talk

Yeah I understand what you are going through. When I told my family about what my cousin did to me I was 30 yrs old. I got a lot of different reactions. The worst was from my sister which blamed me and kept saying things like I "let" him do it and it was my fault.That was thirteen years ago and I still feel the sting even now when I talk about it.

Hugs,
Greg.

Yes, I have told the wrong person. One or two are on DS.
The weird thing is that afterwards, people treat me differently. They think I need to be " handled. " I feel they look at me as damaged goods. One person even told me that.

I thought it was safe on DS and it is for the most part.
Still, it is just like in life, people are at different levels of growth..they can judge by their own and sometimes inaccurate standards.

Now, I only talk with my doctor about it.
I do have some good friends on DS that understand because they suffered the same abuse.

Sexual abuse has such a freaken stigma attached to it.

hey,
yes I have experienced that. My mum didnt do much after I told her about the abuse. Everything seemed to carry on like normal. One of my exs used my abuse against me in arguments and the other told ppl he knew I hated after I asked him not to tell.
All of us here know that what happened wasnt out fault and we should not have to carry shame or guilt.
It is incredibly hurtful when we get a bad reaction. You just have to try really hard not to take it on board and walk away.
So sorry some jerk made u feel bad about the actions of some sicko. YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME!!

there's nothing worse than confiding in someone you think is a friend.i have told a few people and wish i hadn't they don't look at you the same,watch everything they say to you. the worst was my hubby he said he could be doing it to other people and it would be my fault cos i haven't came forward. i can hardly cope with it by myself let alone drag my family and children through all the courts and media. please don't listen to this so called friend. you are not to blame for what happened.take care xoxoxox

when I was sixteen I confided in what at the time I thought was a close friend, she then spread around my school (grew up in a rurual area with only about 400 at the school) that I f***ed my grandfather, I was taunted by many kids, and at time there were teachers who did as well, 2 things that affected me deeply were when a student in class asked if my grandfather came in my mouth and did I swallow, he asked infront of a teacher who stood there and waited for my answer, then in the changing room there was a big, over a metre long and 500 high, written thing saying my full name sucks her grandfathers cock.
It stayed thre for 2 years, even tho I complained about it several times

so yeah
I have confided in the wrong people, I dont know how many times I have been told that I am just being a drama queen, to get over it, and are you sure you didn't ask for it......when i let them know it happened over 400 times, well the answers sometimes dont change that much.

I've been very careful with who I tell what happened to me. I've only had one bad reaction, and that was from my mom. After I told her, the first thing she said was "why didn't you tell us?". Holy crap, I was 4 years old, why do you think I didn't tell you? Anyways, I'll be praying for you and I can only hope that your "friend" will realize how deeply he/she hurt you and will ask for forgiveness.

If I had a dollar for every time I told someone that I thought was safe and it blew up in my face I wouldn't be struggling to put gas in my car. Sometimes it's just a learning experience. I am sorry you are going through this!

people dont know how to react to that information... but its not your fault! and shame on them for tryint to make you feel like it is

When I told my parents, my mom said a bunch of great things. She said it was my fault for being out alone at night, even though I was 10 and she was the one who said I could be, she said I was lying and my dad said that my 'head was making up stories.' Now they understand more...but that hurt a lot. And when I told a good friend she said it was my fault.

this all came aobut
when i was ment to be sleaping for the first time with my then girlfriend.
I felt every uneasy about it all and i tyred to explain why i was feeling that way.
and she went nuts.
in the end she said i never want to hear you talk about it ever again this is now not then and if you do its more than i can handle and will leave you.

ive had lots of bad reactions to backing away from people i love
they get very angery.